Original Magic: The Rituals and Initiations of the Persian Magi - Michael M. Hughes 2018
Hex the NRA
The Magical Activist’s Spellbook
As mentioned earlier, this spell, previously appearing on Medium, was born of the reprehensible response of the National Rifle Association (NRA) to the murder of seventeen students at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida, on Valentine’s Day 2018.32
On Valentine’s Day, seventeen schoolchildren were mowed down and over a dozen others were injured by a nineteen-year-old with an AR-15.
Earlier that same day, the NRA retweeted a gun manufacturer’s holiday promotion: a photo of a heart-shaped box and two 9mm pistols, along with the message “Give your significant other something they’ll appreciate this Valentine’s Day.”
Something is seriously wrong with this country.
As Tim Dickinson details in his Rolling Stone article from 2016 (“How the NRA Paved the Way for Mass Shootings”), the NRA’s unholy legion of lobbyists is responsible for the surreal state of affairs in which mass shootings have become a normal part of American life.33
The NRA fought for Florida’s permissive gun laws, earning it the nickname “the Gunshine State.” Governor Rick Scott earned an A+ rating from the NRA for opposing universal background checks, and the organization spent two million dollars to ensure Scott’s reelection.34 And while the state mandates a three-day waiting period for handgun purchases, there is no such restriction for assault rifles.
Florida Senator Marco Rubio, who also received an A+ rating, received $90,205 of NRA blood money in the 2015—2016 campaign year and over three million dollars in his career.35
The biggest beneficiary of all? Donald Trump, to the tune of tens of millions of dollars spent on the 2016 presidential campaign. Surprise, surprise. Perhaps that’s why he said, “I am going to come through for you” when he addressed their conference in Atlanta in April of 2017.36 And why, shortly after he was elected, he rolled back a safety measure aimed at preventing severely mentally ill Americans from buying guns.
Let’s be honest, shall we? As a supporter of the right to own firearms, I have no issue with citizens owning guns for hunting, home defense, or sport shooting. But the NRA is not the champion of gun owners—it is the marketing wing of the gun manufacturer industry, and those gun makers are increasingly dependent upon sales of assault-styled weapons like the one that killed those seventeen Florida children and so many others before them.
The NRA is not a patriotic defender of hunters and sportsmen, but a profit-driven, mercenary cult fueled by sales of increasingly lethal weapons designed not for hunting, but for the mass killing of human beings. They oppose any and all gun safety regulations, including common-sense measures, like background checks, that the majority of their members support. And they suppress scientific research into gun violence by public health organizations—because they know the truth would appall all decent Americans.
They’ve stoked paranoia about the government coming for everyone’s guns (how’d that turn out?) and radicalized citizens against civic institutions. Lately, they’ve completely embraced far-right politics, defending Trump and his cohorts against accusations of Russian election meddling, inciting violence against nonviolent activists, and portraying the news media, as Trump has called them, as the “enemy of the people” in slick propaganda videos.
I’ve fucking had enough.
Some Things to Consider
Graveyard dirt is a very powerful magical substance. In all traditions, it must be gathered appropriately (with permission from the spirit or spirits) and paid for. So don’t just stop by your local cemetery and grab a handful of earth. Learn about its proper use or don’t use it. Powdered mullein is a good substitute.
While technically illegal, defacing or destroying money as a symbolic protest is extremely unlikely to result in prosecution. If the government comes after you for painting a dollar bill red, I suspect the resulting negative publicity would win you a very supportive lawyer. But as always, you make your decisions and accept the responsibility. I will happily paint my dollar bill red and write NRA Blood Money on it in front of the Treasury Secretary if it comes down to defending your right to do it.
Note the possible legal complications of this protest mailing. If you’re wary of getting on some sort of enemies list, by all means, avoid this direct action and just do the spell itself. But I don’t believe there’s need to worry, unless you put your real name and address on the envelope, and even then, this is clearly a symbolic action, not an actual bloodied bill (and please, do not think about using actual blood, which is a biological hazard and could actually land you in the slammer. Don’t. Do. It). You have the right, as a citizen, to express your dissent symbolically, through writing and imagery, to your compromised representatives or to morally bankrupt organizations, as long as you are not threatening anyone or sending illegal substances.
Finally, protest is not meant to be polite. Fuck the NRA.
Components
Red paint or red permanent marker
Black permanent marker
Dollar bill
Printed image of an NRA logo
Black candle engraved with NRA (use a nail or pin)
Olive oil (optional)
Graveyard dirt (optional)
Printed image of an assault rifle
Ashtray or flameproof container
3 wildflower seeds (from plants native to your region)
Envelope and stamp
Take your red paint or red permanent marker and apply it to the dollar bill, covering the entire front. Make sure there is enough red paint or ink to render it invalid as legal tender. You’ll see why soon enough.
Use your black marker to write across the bill, in bold lettering, NRA BLOOD MONEY.
On your printout of the NRA logo, write the following text from Psalm 37:13—17 across it, reading the words aloud as you write them.
The wicked have drawn out the sword, and have bent their bow, to cast down the poor and needy, and to slay such as be of upright conversation. Their sword shall enter into their own heart, and their bows shall be broken. A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked. For the arms of the wicked shall be broken: but the Lord upholdeth the righteous.
Assemble all the components on your altar. If you’re using the optional graveyard dirt, dress the engraved black candle with olive oil and roll it in the dirt. Place the candle atop the NRA logo, in the center over the eagle.
Say a prayer to God or your preferred deity or deities for the protection of innocent beings against violence, and ask for a blessing on yourself.
Light the black engraved candle.
Say the following, with as much emotion as you can:
I curse you
Merchants of mayhem
Profiteers of pain
Dealers of death
You who fatten on the blood of innocents
And feast like demons on their corpses
May your thoughts and prayers
Turn to poison in your mouths
May every mother’s cry be a bullet to your heart
May the weeping of children rend your flesh like shrapnel
May the people turn against you
May they, too, curse your wickedness
May they melt your murderous machines
Light the paper image of the gun from the candle and let it burn out in your ashtray or flameproof container. Say,
May your blood money blister your hands
And your riches turn to ash
In the eternal fires of hell
So mote it be
Blow out the black candle. Bury it somewhere far away from your home.
Plant the three wildflower seeds above the candle, saying a prayer for the protection of all innocents from gun violence.
If you’re feeling any negative residue from this working, take a salt bath, pray, and, if possible, spend some time playing with children.
Now comes the important part, where your hex is sent directly to its recipient.
Fold the blood money dollar bill inside the inscribed NRA logo. You want to fold it so that it will fit inside a regular envelope.
Put the folded package inside an envelope. A security (opaque) envelope is best.
For the return address, use a fake address and the name of a victim of a mass shooting in place of your name.
Address it to the NRA Headquarters at 11250 Waples Mill Rd., Fairfax, VA 22030. You can address it directly to Wayne LaPierre or leave it blank. You can also send it to your Congressional representative (if he or she is a recipient of NRA money) or use this handy chart at OpenSecrets.org to find the worst of the worst offenders: https://www.opensecrets.org/orgs/toprecips.php?id=D000000082. Add a stamp, and as you’re dropping it in the mailbox whisper a curse (Fuck the NRA, which I use, is short and succinct).
Another Option
Send away for free NRA materials. Burn them while repeating the above spell, and return your red-painted dollar bill in their reply envelope.
Follow-Up
After doing any hex, it is always wise to take direct positive action to keep the scales balanced. Donate money to a gun victim support fund or charity, donate blood, or volunteer with a gun safety organization.