Instant Confidence: The Power to Go for Anything You Want by Paul McKenna PH.D. (2016)
THE CONFIDENCE CLINIC
Frequently Asked Questions about Instant Confidence
Q. I’VE SET MY GOALS, I’VE TRIED THE TECHNIQUES, I’VE LISTENED TO THE HYPNOTIC TRANCE, I’M TAKING ACTION—AND I’M STILL SCARED! WHAT AM I DOING WRONG?
Nothing—it sounds like you’re doing everything right!
I once saw an interview with Bruce Springsteen where the reporter asked him if he ever got scared before playing concerts in front of huge stadiums, often with more than 50,000 people in the audience.
To my amazement, Springsteen replied, “Never. When I get ready to go on stage, my heart starts pounding, my hands start shaking, my breath goes up into my throat, and I know that I am PUMPED and ready to play!”
That “pumped and ready to play” feeling (aka “fear”) is the result of the natural release of adrenaline, which occurs any time you step outside of your comfort zone or do something for the very first time. And as long as you’re creating confident pictures, talking to yourself in a confident way, and taking daily action even before you’re ready, you’re doing everything you need to succeed.
Q. HOW SOON CAN I EXPECT TO BE MORE CONFIDENT?
Do you remember as a child how, when you would visit your auntie or granny, they would always say, “Ooh, haven’t you grown?” Even though you didn’t wake up each day feeling taller, inside all sorts of changes were happening.
Because many of the changes you are now making are incremental, your friends, family, and colleagues may become aware of your newly emerging confidence before you do.
Using the techniques in this book and on the hypnotic trance is a bit different for everyone—some people will see an instant improvement, and others will notice the changes happening a bit more slowly.
Whichever it is with you, keep using the techniques and listening to the hypnotic trance for at least three weeks. This will not only get you well on the way towards achieving your goals, but may even give you a glimpse beyond what you currently think is possible.
Q. DO I REALLY NEED TO DO THE 5-MINUTE DAILY CONFIDENCE WORKOUT? CAN’T I JUST LISTEN TO THE HYPNOTIC TRANCE?
How can you live confidently if you begin each day by attacking yourself?
Most people have been practicing beginning each day with a 5-minute daily “feel like crap” workout. They do a quick review of everything that’s wrong with their life, then look in the mirror, and break themselves repeatedly. They create a massively negative internal state and associate it with themselves.
The 5-Minute Daily Confidence Workout is there to interrupt the old pattern and begin practicing something new. While listening to the hypnotic trance on its own will ultimately reprogram your mind, taking the time to reinforce the programming by repeating some of the exercises and doing the daily workout will accelerate the process and help you to feel naturally confident throughout the day.
Q. ACTUALLY, MY FRIENDS SAY I’VE BECOME MORE ARROGANT SINCE I STARTED READING THE BOOK. HOW DO I KNOW IF I’M TURNING INTO AN ASSHOLE?
When we change it scares some people, because human beings like familiarity. So when suddenly we start standing up for ourselves, it seems out of character. Also some people don’t want you to become more confident because you become more powerful than them.
You will know it’s working because people will say that you are different. Some will be happy for you and some will feel uncomfortable. The important thing is that in the early stages you are different, although it may take a little while for some of your friends to adjust to the new you.
Also remember, this isn’t about “fake it ’til you make it”—it’s about changing the pictures and sounds in your head and the way you use your body to become more comfortable in your own skin.
Then, when you’ve set your BIG goals and begun taking daily action towards achieving them (even before you feel ready), your life will transform.
If your friends are really your friends, they’ll still like you as you become more confident, motivated, and successful. And if they start acting jealous, tell them to buy their own copy of this book!
Q. I GET SO PUMPED UP WHEN I DO THE TECHNIQUES, BUT THEN I FEEL ALL REVVED UP WITH NO PLACE TO GO. WHAT SHOULD I DO?
Remember, confidence without action is just a feeling—and action without a clear sense of direction won’t necessarily take you where you want to go. If you are feeling like that, it’s simply because you haven’t created a compelling enough future yet.
Review the sections on setting BIG goals and taking daily action. The goals you set will give you the sense of direction, and the daily action habit will take all those good feelings and put them to work for you.
That way, on the days when you can’t seem to get the feelings as intense as you’re used to, you’ll still be carried by the action habit closer and closer to the life of your dreams.
Q. I’M WORRIED THAT IF I START ACTING MORE CONFIDENT THAN THE GUYS, THEY WON’T WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME ANYMORE. IS THERE A MORE “FEMALE” VERSION OF THIS?
First off, it’s not about “acting” confident—it’s about practicing the skills of being confident—comfortable and at ease with your body and your life. And in my experience, nothing is more attractive to men OR women than the inner glow which comes from being truly comfortable in your own skin.
Q. I WAS ABUSED AS A CHILD AND I STILL FIND IT DIFFICULT TO ASSERT MYSELF WITH CERTAIN PEOPLE. WILL THESE TECHNIQUES HELP?
They almost certainly will, but if you are dealing with any sort of past trauma, I highly recommend you begin by seeing a specialist in dealing with it before you begin using the techniques.
In the meantime, as you use the techniques and listen to the hypnotic trance, it will immediately help you to realize that the past is now over, and you can condition yourself to experience more confidence and motivation, regardless of what you may have been through before. Be sure to listen to the hypnotic trance daily for at least three weeks to reinforce powerful changes in yourself.
Q. IT’S ALL RIGHT FOR YOU—YOU’VE GOT EVERYTHING YOU WANT. I’M SURE I’D BE CONFIDENT TOO IF I WAS FAMOUS AND SUCCESSFUL!
I shared my story in Change Your Life in Seven Days, but suffice it to say that I would have loved to have a book like this when I was growing up. It wasn’t until I started learning hypnosis that I began to develop my own confidence, and it wasn’t until I’d really developed the habits of confidence, motivation, and action that my life began to change for the better.
If I’ve achieved anything worthwhile it’s been as a result of everything I’ve shared with you in this book. I still have my challenges and I’m glad because that’s how we learn and grow. If I’m lucky I always will do—that way I can continue to learn and grow for the rest of my life!