The Secret of Creating Your Reality (2015)
Chapter 2: Emotion Is the Compass
The Human Mind – A Complex Web
The human mind is a powerful organ. More often than not, we tend to ignore or deny the kind of grasping hold our mind has on our personality, the kind of lives we lead and the sort of situations we are in. Some individuals suffer from the constant case of negative thoughts, while others are undeniably positive. The case of pessimists, optimists and realists – it all suggests that there are different mental patterns and thoughts.
There is a need to achieve emotional intelligence: striking a balance between our rational mind and our impulsive mind. Our emotions, and our thoughts, are delicately interlinked and they both alter and affect the lives we lead. We often fail to understand just how strong is the force of our emotions and thoughts and how it completely alters our choices, actions and personalities. Our thoughts tinted with negativity, single-handedly provoke us to do things that might be considered destructive and negative. On the flipside, thought, positive thoughts motivate us to do things that are constructive, positive and progressive.
The worst case scenario is the constant case of negativity. Often our minds are too perfectly programmed to follow a set pattern of negative, constantly pessimistic thoughts. Individuals suffering from this are in constant state of agony, anxiety and self-destruction. Every situation is viewed from a very constricted, negative point and the result is always painful. Such individuals are known as pessimists are known for their undying need to view everything from a negative point of view, to always find the downside in everything and to always focus on the negative aspect. In this case, the mind becomes your worst enemy.
Many of us are slaves to our minds. Our own mind is our worst enemy. We try to focus, and our mind wanders off. We try to keep stress at bay, but anxiety keeps us awake at night. We try to be good to the people we love, but then we forget them and put ourselves first.
Individuals who are constantly enslaved and entrapped by their negative thoughts are classified as pessimists. Pessimism, defined objectively, is a state of mind which basically involves the constant occurrence of recurring negative thoughts and feelings which convince an individual to always focus on the worst case scenario and the shortcomings. Human beings often create a comfort zone in their minds and refuse to break the barriers.
Sometimes we are too afraid to hope, to dare to believe that things might not be half as gloomy as we might perceive. More often than not, the blanket of pessimism is worn by humans as self-defense; to protect us from feeling the pain of disappointment, heartbreak and disillusionment. Therefore, we do not even try to go beyond the bounds of unflinching negativity. We do not even allow ourselves to look beyond the set ideas of pessimism in order to cushion us from the impending disappointment and pain. We often experience pessimism when we desire something; we constantly tell ourselves it will never happen, so we do not get crushed when our worst fears are confirmed.
Hoping Against All Odds
We cannot deny, though, that in the hearts of our hearts, we know that we hope, against unbeatable odds, for something inexplicably great to happen to us, but we dare not let it show. We keep it concealed and trapped underneath layers and layers of negative abstraction, lack of enthusiasm and thinly-veiled pessimism. We become so used to the way we think; it becomes difficult, often impossible, to crack down the fences of customary negative thinking patterns. Our minds begin to function along the lines of convoluted ideas of self-preservation which dictate that if we always expect the worst to happen, we will save ourselves from disappointment.
On the flipside, some people resolutely follow the ideas of sheer optimism, positivity and unwavering belief in all-things progressive. Optimists are individuals who exhibit conscious selective focus on positivity. Optimism, quite like pessimism, is a state of mind which alters the viewpoints of different individuals on different matters. Despite worsening conditions and all factors pointing towards negativity, optimists find a way to hope against all odds.
I suspect the truth is that we are waiting, all of us, against insurmountable odds, for something extraordinary to happen to us.
Action and Reaction
In a way, we are all exposed to similar experiences; the only difference is how we choose to react. Some gravitate towards pessimism, while others soar towards optimism. Psychologists suggest a midway: realism. Realists keep in mind both aspects of negativity and positivity and focus on the most real, most rational approach. Different researches propose various benefits of following the realistic methodology, while others advocate the benefits of pessimism and optimism, respectively.
Core Life Values
Aside from different psychological states of mind, all individuals possess core fundamental values that shape their life and personalities. These core values function as guidelines and guiding principles which color the course of human behavior and action. It is important to realize what core values are we following as individuals. These core values and guiding principles are ingrained in our minds and etched in our personalities while we are still impressionable and young. Circumstances, and situations vary and individuals grow up with different core ethics about life. These essential ideals involve ideologies and moral principles regarding family, honesty, ethics about professional life, and personal relationships.
Often, we follow different ethics, values and ideologies without really knowing that we are practicing them. While we are still young, certain values are relayed onto us through different life experiences and we carry them with us all our lives. Mostly, we lack the realization and, thus, it is extremely important to recognize ourselves and to understand fully where we stand morally. The process of formulating core life values does not stop when we grow old or when we are mature; in fact it deepens and becomes more wholesome and has a lot more meaning and value than ever before. Therefore, it is extremely important to gain this vital self-knowledge. In order to do that, it is essential to know and to be aware of your values so you can conduct yourself more confidently in personal and professional life as an adult.
The Rarely-Visited Field of Self-Discovery
If we set aside all the things that life throws at us, the everyday life situations that consume us, physically and mentally; if we, for a moment, set all of that aside and pause and really question ourselves, and if we really truly stumble upon the rarely-visited field of self-discovery, how much do we really know about ourselves? It is a daunting question and is often met with mixed feelings of doubt, confusion and, more often than not, regressive ignorance. Questions about personality, core values and ethics are categorized as vague concepts of absurdity and abstraction. We often display such lack of interest because are we too afraid to realize that we are often living in conflict to our values. How, one might ask, does that occur? It does not have to be a ground-breaking foray from your core values, a simple example could be continuing day-in and day-out, a job that you have no interest in, thereby, denying the reality and refusing to accept that you are living in conflict to your real values. It is a complex phenomenon; living a life forever impersonating someone else to impress the people we do not even care about for reasons that do not even matter.
Emerging Out of the Shadows of Obscurity
It is beyond the realms of common sense; living in a constant state of lie, to go on living as an imposter. We must not conform to the soul-crushing standards of life; it is important to create a space for yourself, to let yourself in and be who you are, without any inhibitions. We must not, under any circumstances, try to edit ourselves, or to keep ourselves in check to be a part of the mob. In this day and age, it is more comfortable to be the wallflower, to blend into the background and to never stand out. However, we must urge ourselves to look deeper into our hearts and to find the courage to be who we are and to let others know and fully see our true self. There is no gain in being a by-product of lack of confidence and self-shaming; we are all given a single chance to live and we must make it worth our while. There is no use living a life which is based upon broken shambles of herd mentality, and conforming to mob-rules, we must soar to the heights of being our true self, no matter how ridiculous, unique or diverse we may be.
Getting to Know Your Inner Self
We make so many acquaintances, so many friends over the course of life, however, we often forget to get to know the real us. How many of us truly understand our true selves? These questions do not include mundane likes and dislikes, like your favorite color or your much loved song or movie, or what are your preferred pizza toppings; these questions involve the fundamental, base values that our lives are based upon. It is very important to unfold into the person that we were always meant to be. So often people do not live up to their potential; we hear that so often. What does that really entail? We lack the realization and we lack the connection with our inner selves and, therefore, we never really achieve what we were supposed to. Knowing yourself or understanding yourself on deeper, base levels is what entails true form of self-discovery.
So many times, we discard the ideas of self-discovery and self-exploratory journeys to fictional concepts and ideas. We must understand that asking ourselves what is important in our lives is not a matter of a fictional, abstract concept; it is a matter of coming face-to-face with your deepest, innermost insecurities and fears which we keep bottled up inside for far too long, pretending they do not even exist. All the while, we morph into someone else entirely and completely steer clear off the path to self-discovery because it might be a little painful to understand ourselves.
Asking yourself what is important in life entails understanding your weakness, and your strengths. It is a question of your core values, beliefs and principles which your personality is based upon. It involves fundamental questions regarding your passions, your aims, dreams, your limitations, ideologies and opinions. If you attempt to answer these questions, you gain your purpose in life.
All said and done, it is necessary to understand that our mental capacities affect our lives; if we put ourselves in certain situations, our personalities will unfold accordingly. It involves the simple concept of action and reaction. If we push too hard at something, it will either bend or there will come a point that it will break. Therefore, if we expose ourselves to situations that are too negative or too far destructive, our human minds and personalities will not bear the brunt for too long; we will either come out of the searing experience all too-negative or completely broken. It can be further illustrated through the concept of that if we jump into water; what do we expect? We get wet. That is the most natural, most obvious outcome.
Similarly, if we place ourselves in a healthy, positive environment, our mind will blossom and develop positively. We, as individuals, will be much happier. We reap what we sow and our minds soak up the negativity or positively form any given situation. It is all a fragile web; our thoughts, our emotions and our surroundings; they are all inter-linked in the most, complex of webs and it is important to master our mind, in order to master our emotions and ultimately, our lives.
Creating Unique Human Realities
There is no set pattern to a perfect human being or a perfect set of core values. There is, as always, a certain level of objectivity and everything must be taken in with a pinch of salt. Somewhere beyond the ideals of concrete rationality and subjectivity, there is a field of untainted emotions which are pure and unadulterated and they form the most wholesome reflection of truly unique human realities.