The Bingo Theory: A revolutionary guide to love, life, and relationships - Mimi Ikonn (2016)
Part V. Bingo Dating
Chapter 15. DATING TIPS FOR THE MASCULINE STRENGTH MALE
WHAT I DIDN’T TELL YOU about Andrew was just how much his ex-girlfriend broke his heart. When he bumped into her at the wedding, it brought it all back to him.
He dated Celia for three years at college. He still remembers the first day he saw her in the library, laughing with a friend. She was beautiful. She was so alive. He went up to her and started talking to her - he can’t even remember what they talked about - but he asked her to go out for coffee.
When they dated she drove him nuts. He was infuriated by the amount of time she spent getting ready to go out, the way she changed her mind about everything and her unpredictable moods, but she was the only woman he ever loved. Physically she was exactly what he liked - she had curves, something to hold on to. The sex was amazing. They couldn’t get enough of each other, so they spent whole weekends in bed.
But they argued a lot; he couldn’t shake the feeling that she might cheat on him. He saw her talk to other guys and he felt a pit of rage in his stomach. It didn’t matter how many times she said she’d never cheat - he didn’t believe her. In the end she said she couldn’t take it anymore. It was over. She couldn’t be with someone so jealous and possessive.
After that, Andrew closed down. He slept around a lot and had ten one-night stands in two months. He dated a couple of girls but not for long. They were fit, lean and ambitious; female versions of him. Those relationships never went anywhere so he stuck to online hook - ups—easy, no expectations, but totally empty.
After bumping into his ex at the wedding, Andrew decided to take a break from dating. And from sex. He realized that he needed to sort himself out if he really wanted to get into a serious relationship. And he realized that he really did want that - he wanted marriage and kids and the whole nine yards.
For a year he was celibate as he worked on balancing himself. His friends couldn’t believe it. At the same time he started to pay more attention to his grooming. Not that he became a dandy, but he simply put more effort into his appearance.
As he started to slow down, Andrew discovered that he could have conversations with women without feeling that he had to go to bed with them. Before, whenever he hung out with women, he thought, “Am I going to sleep with her?” Now it was different. His female friends saw the change and started introducing him to their friends.
He went on a few set ups. His female friends advised him not to sleep with a woman on the first or second date, or even the third date. It was hard as hell for him but he did it.
Then one day he bumped into a friend’s sister, Maia. They started chatting.
“You seem different,” she said. He laughed and told her a bit about what had been going on. They went out for coffee. “I always thought you were an asshole,” she said. He laughed. He liked her. She was honest, and free-spirited and alive.
He asked Maia out again and she said yes. They didn’t sleep together for two months. She was testing him, he thought - and he was willing to do whatever it took.
Six months later, nothing about Maia made sense to him. She was chaotic, emotional and unpredictable - and that’s what he loved about her.
The unbalanced Masculine Strength Male uses sex as a way to get close to women. There’s no romance, no vulnerability and no intimacy. It’s just sealing the deal. But as much as he pretends to the outside world that sex is all he wants, it isn’t.
Being a playboy can be fun for a while but by the time you’re in your thirties it can start to feel empty. He dated Masculine Strength Females because he could relate to them easily - they were like him. And there were no messy emotions.
But that got empty too.
Andrew was ready for something more.
He had to try a whole new approach.
Being celibate was a big thing for him. It taught him how to slow down and open up. He no longer treated every interaction with a woman as a potential gateway to sex. It was a revelation. He could actually talk to women without trying to bed them. Who knew?
Then, when he started dating again, he took the time to really get to know the woman he dated. And even if it didn’t end up in sex that was OK.
Andrew used to be scared of the feminine energy—of how unpredictable and sometimes irrational it can be. But once he started to embrace it in himself, he could accept it in others. Then Maia came along - soft, playful, vulnerable and feminine. His Bingo!
Can you relate?
Have you slept around as a way to avoid intimacy? Do you find most women to be unpredictable, irrational and infuriating? Do you find it easier to date girls who are more logical like you? Well, it’s time to change your approach. Believe it or not, the infuriating women are the best ones for you.
Your Bingo Partner:
You need a Feminine Strength Female who radiates love, caring and compassion. Someone with curves and softness.
How To Get It
ADMIT YOU WANT TO FIND LOVE
You know you want to find love, even though you have a hard time admitting it. The fact that you’re reading this book is already a huge sign that you’re ready to become more balanced. I applaud you for getting over your skepticism and getting this far. That shows that you’re already exercising your feminine energy by being open minded and accepting new information. For you, balance and acceptance of the feminine energy within you is the key to finding love and getting in a healthy, long-term relationship.
LOOK AFTER YOUR APPEARANCE
Start with cleaning up yourself physically. It will make you feel good to use your feminine energy to pamper yourself regularly. Dress up, get regular haircuts, shave, groom your nails and toes. If all you own is t-shirts and jeans, please go shopping. Get a personal shopper, or ask a style-savvy friend to assist you.
Next, clean up your house. If you don’t want to do it, get a cleaner. If you want a woman to feel comfortable in your space you need to show that you care about it. A living room strewn with coffee cups, cereal bowls and takeaway containers will not cut it when you bring a serious date home. Women notice the books on your shelves, the cushions on your sofa and whether or not you have matching bed linen. It will make you feel good to use your feminine energy in order to create a home, rather than a crash pad. It’s a sign of maturity.
STOP SLEEPING AROUND
Stop using women for sex. Meaningless sex is fun at first but when you have too much of it, it becomes dull. It’s like fast food—empty calories and zero nutritional value. Sex is important in any relationship but it can wait. The best relationships are built on friendship. Get to know her first and let her get to know you. Build anticipation and desire. Believe me, if you wait for it, the sex will be even better because it will be more meaningful.
If you like a woman, be nice to her. Give her a compliment. Ask her questions and listen to her answers without judgment. Show interest in her. Respect her opinions. Masculine Strength Males can mask their insecurities by teasing the women they date and being sarcastic. This is a big no-no. Sure, it’s great to use your humor, but make sure it’s not at her expense. An unbalanced Masculine Strength Guy will belittle the feminine energy because he feels threatened by it. This is not the way to a woman’s heart. Here is where you can exercise your feminine energy: learn to be more sweet and romantic with women. Take your potential mate to a nice restaurant. Make the effort to look nice for your date. You will feel great, and she will appreciate it.
Once you’re in a relationship, don’t let your ego get in the way. Express your love verbally and physically by using your feminine energy. Give your partner a hug every time you see her. Tell her that you love her. Send her texts throughout the day to remind her how much you appreciate her in your life.
As a Masculine Strength Male, your Bingo relationship is going to be someone with a feminine energy. The more balanced you are, the better able you are to accept the feminine energy in your partner because you’ve already accepted it in yourself. But while you’re still working on balancing yourself, be patient. Feminine Strength People see the world entirely differently from the way you see it. They might not seem logical or make sense to you, but that’s OK. Even if you don’t understand the feminine energy, accept it. Embrace it. It’s what will make you happy.
KEEP USING YOUR FEMININE ENERGY
Even when you’re in a happy, healthy relationship, continue to nurture and balance both your masculine and feminine energies. Remember that nobody else can make you whole. You need to do that yourself. When you first meet the right girl, it will be tempting to give up working on yourself. You’ll think that she’s the answer to all your problems. She’s not. It’s important that you keep working on yourself in order to have a happy relationship and a happy life.
BALANCING EXISTING RELATIONSHIPS
NOW WE MOVE ON to learning how to balance a relationship that you’re already in. Although this chapter is focused on romantic relationships in mind, the same advice can apply to any kind of relationship—whether it is with a family member, a co-worker, or a friend, etc. That’s the beauty of understanding the masculine and feminine energies - the dynamics between the energies work the same way in any given relationship.
It’s likely that you already have a strong sense of what energy your partner has. Is it the opposite energy to the one you have or the same? How do think your energies play out in your relationship?
In this section we'll go through each of the energy combinations and talk you through the strengths and the challenges each combination has. In my experience partners with the same energies have to work harder to balance their relationship, but it can be done.
People in relationships with their opposites will have a strong attraction, and often their relationship will be more effortless - but there are areas they need to watch out for too.
So, let’s get started.