A Handbook of Saxon Sorcery & Magic: Wyrdworking, Rune Craft, Divination & Wortcunning - Alaric Albertsson 2017
Heart to Heart: Love Magic
More Magic Techniques
When we are healthy and whole, our thoughts likely turn to winning the affection of another person. This is necessarily a generalization, of course, but it holds true for the majority of us. The onset of puberty opens a wondrous new world that quickens the pulse and warms the blood. Romantic love is the subject of the majority of song lyrics that have been written and performed. In the music, we seek love, we gain love, we lose love. In the motion picture industry, love stories will often be inserted into scripts for the sole purpose of ensuring that films will appeal to the widest audience possible. Love is humanity’s common denominator. Love inspires us, frightens us, entertains us, enrages us, comforts us, flusters us, and heals us.
Love is a word like magic in that it can mean many different things to many different people. We use the word love to describe almost any positive response we have to the stimuli around us. You may love mashed potatoes, but not in the same way you love puppies, and neither of these in the same way you love your boyfriend or girlfriend (hopefully). In this chapter, we are using the word love to mean a positive response related in some way to sexual attraction. For the moment, let us put aside any love we may have for ice cream, picnics, or the Steelers, and focus instead on sex.
Even this more narrow definition leaves us with a boggling array of feelings, needs, and opinions. For one person, sex is the goal. For another, sex is a tool for bonding two people together. Yet another person may perceive sex to be just one part of a healthy relationship. None of these definitions are incorrect; they simply reflect the needs of different individuals. The important thing is that you be painfully honest with yourself. Understand exactly what it is you need and want, because the person or people who can best satisfy your needs are those who have the same needs themselves.
Love magic, regardless of your needs and regardless of what cræftes you use, should always be worked to enhance yourself, not to entangle or coerce others. When I say you and your, I mean whoever the subject is—this principle applies equally to love magic worked on behalf of others. This is not only a matter of ethics. Yes, it would be unethical to coerce the affection of another person, but that is beside the point. There is a very selfish reason why coercive magic should be avoided: you want people to desire you of their own accord, not because you have cast a spell.
It might be argued that coercive magic can produce a satisfactory effect if all you are looking for is a one-night stand, but why on earth would you waste that much energy on one person for no more than a few hours’ pleasure? If that specific person really matters so much, then something more is going on. You do not really want just one night with him or her. Again, know yourself and be honest with yourself.
No matter your needs, coercive sorcery will almost always prove to be a disappointment. Coercive sorcery includes any spell directed at a specific person. Unfortunately most “love magic,” contemporary and traditional, takes this coercive approach. No matter how many tricks and traps we can find in folklore, the fact is that coercive magic rarely works in the way the sorcerer hopes. Trying to coerce love is a little like pulling on a pumpkin vine in the hope of making it grow faster. Instead of getting a positive response, you are much more likely to kill the vine.
Magic in folklore is typically coercive because most people simply react to the world around them instead of taking positive actions to create what they want and need. Why does Tom want to cast a love spell on Jennifer? Because he is reacting to his own infatuation. This sort of spell—which is nothing less than a form of magical stalking—probably will not work. Even if it does work, Tom will never know if Jennifer genuinely desires him. At the time he may not care, he may think the only thing that matters is that she be with him, but eventually the question will begin to gnaw at him.
If Tom is a sorcerer with any degree of wisdom, he will take a different approach. He will design a spell or charm to attract the right person to him. While he will be open to the possibility that this may be Jennifer, he will recognize that she may have another path to follow. And if this is true, then he will be happy for her, because real love places the other person’s needs before your own. Tom’s magic will be directed to the world at large, seeking a woman who can fully return his love. He knows that his true need is for a woman who can return feelings similar to those he has for Jennifer.
Honestly assess your needs, but do not carry this to an extreme. Know what the true deal breakers are for you. If sex is your end goal, there really are not many deal breakers. You are not going to be with the other person long enough for it to matter whether he or she wants children, enjoys the outdoors, or dislikes sushi. But if you are looking for any kind of lasting relationship, you will have further needs that must be met. You will also have likes and dislikes that are not as essential, but should be taken into consideration. Knowing what your actual needs are will carry you a long way along the path to finding a long-term partner.
I recently overheard a man complaining about how difficult it was to find such a partner. His requirements were that the prospective partner be “decent” and “normal.” The prospective partner could not be into “hyper-socializing” or “herding pets,” had to be lean, and couldn’t have any tattoos or piercings. No over achievers or social climbers. Is it any wonder this person was single? Whenever I hear a person say that he or she is looking for a “normal” person, what I hear is, “I am looking for someone who has absolutely no interesting qualities that differ in any way from my own.” Everyone has his or her own quirks. If you are looking for a person without anything like that, somebody without any habits or characteristics that make them distinct and interesting, you might be better off with a Cabbage Patch doll. And if a tattoo is going to come between you and a loving relationship, perhaps you really would be happier staying single.
That is all right, too. One of our cultural myths is that nobody can be truly happy unless he or she is partnered with somebody else. Love can be beautiful, but it can also be extremely inconvenient. Sharing your life with another person entails constant compromise, and for some people, this is a miserable way to live. Again, be honest with yourself and know your own needs. If you do not want to take on the burden of another person, do not let social conventions mislead you into believing you need this to be complete and happy.
On the other hand, if you do want to take on that burden, know what it is that you absolutely need from the other person. For me, my partner must be Pagan. My spirituality is an essential part of me, and it is imperative that my partner share in this aspect of my existence. My partner must also perceive sex to be one small facet in the broader spectrum of a loving relationship. For myself, sex is not a tool for bonding with another person; it is a part of my relationship, but it is not the defining feature. As another need, my partner must understand and appreciate that I have always lived with dogs, that I share a bond with them, and that my lifestyle would be incomplete without a dog at my side.
Those are a few of my needs. Almost everything else, though, really falls into the “wants” category, and wants are not the same thing as true needs. My partner does not have to fulfill all of my wants. That’s why the gods put seven billion other people on the planet. I can find other people to fulfill some of my wants, some wants I can fulfill alone, and there are still other wants that I am willing to forfeit in exchange for a loving, long-term relationship. I know what my wants are, and I can distinguish between these and the real deal breakers.
While you are assessing yourself, extend this further and acknowledge realistically what you have to offer in exchange for what you want and need out of another person. What do you have to give? Look at yourself objectively. As a first step, do this literally. Stand alone in front a full length mirror in private, take off your clothes, and look at yourself. This is what you have to offer. The initial thing you will notice, almost certainly, is that you do not look like a model or movie star. So right away you can cross off models and movie stars from your list of potential life partners.
People will tell you that looks do not matter, that the important thing is who you are inside, but the fact is that looks do matter, very much, when it comes to attracting a love interest. Most people looking for partners are looking for others who appear healthy and whole, and who are roughly in the same age bracket as themselves. These traits are initially assessed primarily by observing the other person’s appearance.
Looking at yourself in the mirror, consider what you can change to improve what you have to offer. Please notice how I worded this. Anorexia is not an improvement. On the other hand, if you are sixty pounds overweight, you are not in a healthy condition. If you are not sure what a healthy weight range is for your sex, age, and height, ask your physician. Likewise, if you have no muscle tone, an exercise program can improve what you have to offer. The healthier your appearance, the more desirable you will be to others. This does not mean people are just shallow—it is only natural for a person to prefer somebody fit and healthy for a long-term relationship. We want our partners to be full participants in life for as long as possible. Whether it is exercising, eating a more healthy diet, or giving up cigarettes, anything you do to improve your health will also improve your desirability. As a side effect, you will live longer and feel better.
Some of our physical appearance, of course, is purely genetic. Consider these immutable features also, and how you can present them in the best way. Choose your clothing with an eye for how it will emphasize your good features and draw attention away from less favorable areas. Here again, people will tell you that this does not matter, but it does. Your clothing need not be expensive or especially fashionable to enhance your appearance. If you are thinking that you do not care about your clothing or appearance, then why should anyone else find you attractive? Because of your personality? Your sincerity? Nobody can see your personality or sincerity. If you want people to respond to these qualities, you first need to attract their attention. Inner beauty is important, certainly, but it is buried beneath your outer appearance.
A runic charm for a long-term partnership should include the gyfu rune. The “gift” rune encourages social bonds of any kind, and here we are discussing love as a social bond associated with sexual attraction. If sex is your end goal, this is not the rune to use. Gyfu has nothing to do with sex. But if you are seeking something more permanent, gyfu is the relationship rune.
Consider the mystery embodied in this rune. The Rune Poem speaks of the gift as being “an honor and praise, a help and of worth.” What you present to prospective partners should honor and praise those people. Your words and actions should make the other person feel important. Furthermore, you should ask yourself how you can help the other person. Rather than asking what you can get out of the relationship, ask what you can give. Ask yourself what worth you give to the relationship. If you feel you have nothing to give, why should this other person be interested in pursuing a relationship with you?
If you are using the gyfu rune—that is, if you are seeking a more lasting relationship—nightclubs, bars, and Internet dating sites are not always your best venues. You may fare better at gatherings of people who share your own needs and interests. Place your deal breakers at the top of your list whenever possible. From my own deal breakers that I have mentioned, it would make sense for me to become involved with Pagan organizations, since it is very important to me that my life partner be Pagan. And that is in fact what I did. I might also have joined a local dog obedience club, or volunteered with an animal welfare organization.
If you are not looking for a long-term commitment, you can still use rúncræft, just avoid the gyfu rune. Instead make a charm using ur for vitality, ing for sensuality, and/or æsc because it is “stiff in its trunk,” to quote the Rune Poem. Craft this as a permanent charm, using wood, bone, or antler. Wear it as a pendant, or carry it in a pocket or purse. Before going out (or going online to visit an Internet dating site), clasp the charm firmly in your hand and say:
Lustful longing in my loin,
Awaken now the flesh conjoined.
The galdor combines alliteration and rhyming. Of course, you may wish to design a galdor more specific to your own needs.
Love Potion
This potion is for the person hoping to find a long-term partner. The potion itself is a very simple infusion. You will need dried rose petals, one ordinary tea bag, and a steeping pot (a ceramic pot with a handle and spout). Put some water in your cauldron and bring it to a boil. While waiting for this, place the steeping pot on your myse. Put the tea bag and a handful of rose petals in the steeping pot. When the water has come to a boil, pour this into the steeping pot and let the herbs steep for at least fifteen minutes. Remove the tea bag and strain out the petals, pouring the infused potion into a cup.
You may wish to pray to the goddess Frige at this time if you have developed any relationship with her. Frige is Woden’s wife, and is sovereign over marriages. I do not believe, however, that it is appropriate to come before a god or goddess asking for favors if you have not yet given anything first. If you have never given Frige an offering or praise, be sure to give something to her before you ask for help with your spell. You could burn a scented candle in her honor, or pour a libation of a good wine or mead.
Brew and drink your potion every night for seven nights in succession. Begin on the night when the moon is in its first quarter. This is when the moon is growing from dark to full, at the point when the moon is half full. (Any almanac can give you the exact date.) At nine o’clock in the evening, sip the potion slowly and in silence. After you have finished the potion, say “ic spellige nu.”
Repeat this six more evenings, seven in all. You should do this at the same time every evening. Nine o’clock is a good time that works for most people, but it could as easily be sunset, or midnight, or whatever fits your schedule best.
On the seventh night or on the night immediately following, but no later than the night of the full moon, go out somewhere you can meet people. Keep in mind that magic does not shatter reality, it only enhances the possibilities. If you want to meet that special someone, you have to go out and find him or her. Ideally you should go out where people sharing interests similar to your own are meeting. If this is not possible, go to a club. You can go out with friends if you like, but do not become so caught up in your clique that you forget your purpose. Be attentive to the possibility of new relationships.
Continue this regimen each month until you attain your goal.
Love Oil
This can be used by anyone, regardless of whether you are seeking a permanent relationship or if you are more interested in short-term connections. Love oil attracts people to you. Where things go from there is up to you. If you are drinking love potions, love oil can also be worn when you go out.
This is a basic cold oil infusion. Although timing is not strictly necessary, you might want to prepare and set your infusion on a Friday, or Frigesdæg, if you are hoping for a permanent relationship. This day is sacred to the goddess Frige, who is sovereign over marriages. The infusion must be prepared before sunset, however, as this hour marks the end of Frigesdæg and the beginning of Sæterniht in the Saxon week.
Fill a wide-mouthed jar with a mix of cinnamon bark and fresh rosemary branches. Cover the bark and branches completely with cold-pressed almond oil. Then cover the jar and set it on a sunny windowsill for several weeks. Swirl the jar every few days, but be sure that the herbs remain fully covered with oil.
After three weeks, strain the oil through cheesecloth to remove the herb matter. Love oil should be stored in a cool, dark place.
Dab a small amount of the oil on the nape of your neck and on your wrists whenever you go out on a date or to a place where you are liable to encounter a love interest. Cinnamon is a hot herb that nurtures sexual arousal. Rosemary fortifies the myne, the part of the Self that holds memories and emotions. Together the essences of these herbs will make you more memorable, in a romantic way. Use only a very little, though—the scent should not be obvious or distracting.
Some people find that cinnamon can irritate their skin, so test a very small amount of love oil on the inside of your arm before putting much on. This is rarely a problem when using a cold oil infusion.
Bringing It All Together
Before you look for love, always be sure you know exactly what it is you are looking for. Know your needs. Also know your wants, and understand how these differ from your needs.
As with any other work, you can combine techniques as you please. Let us consider how we can work with different techniques to help somebody find love. In practice this “somebody” could be you or someone you know.
Our hypothetical somebody will be a man we will call Bob. He is in his late twenties and is looking for a long-term relationship. Bob is a heterosexual male. He teaches high school English. In his spare time, he enjoys oil painting and reading. He has a French bulldog.
The first thing we are going to do is define Bob’s needs. We want him to be aware of these so he does not waste time pursuing doomed relationships. First, we know that he needs a woman. Sexual orientation is almost always a need rather than a want! Bob is heterosexual, so another man is not an acceptable option. Even people who identify as bisexual usually lean one way or another; this should be considered a need for a long-term relationship.
Bob has no intention of giving up his French bulldog, so “must like dogs” is also a need. And he wants to be a father someday. This, too, is non-negotiable.
He has a preference for redheads, however, he recognizes that the color of a woman’s hair is not necessary for his long-term happiness. This is a want, but he is leaving himself open to any woman who can fulfill his true needs. He would also like a woman who shares his interest in painting, but this is another want.
To ensure the greatest chance of success, we should encourage Bob to get involved with groups of people who share interests similar to his own. He might consider joining a book club, since he is an English teacher and enjoys reading. He could also join a breed-specific French bulldog club, if there is one in his area, or perhaps a dog obedience club. Because of his oil painting hobby, Bob could sign up for art classes or join an art club.
Bob is in reasonably good health. He is not an athlete, but he is not overweight or in bad shape. We are not going to worry about improving his physical appearance.
We will use wortcunning primarily, but to help things along, we can make him a runic charm. We will use gyfu, gear, and ethel to make a runic statement, “the gift brings the harvest of the home.” What Bob has to offer, his gift or worth, will be rewarded with a family. We will carefully mark the runes, in red, on cardstock and have Bob carry this in his wallet. It is a finite charm, intended to create one specific effect, so we want Bob to be able to dispose of it readily after it has served its purpose.
Equipped with his runic charm, Bob will now begin brewing a love potion each month. On the night the moon enters the first quarter, and for six nights after that, he will brew a cup of the potion and sip it at nine o’clock in the evening. At the end of each seven-night session, Bob will go out someplace where he can meet with other people. If possible this will be with his dog club, or his art class, or his book club. If not, he will go out to a club or bar. He will continue this practice until he finds the woman who can fulfill his needs, and whose needs he can fulfill in return.
Because marriage is Bob’s goal, Bob will burn the runic charm to dispose of it after his wedding day.
Review
1. Why is coercive love magic ultimately ineffective?
2. When is it appropriate to use the rune gyfu in a love charm?
3. What influence does the rune æsc contribute to a love charm? Can you think of a situation where this rune has no purpose in a love charm?
4. Why is Friday before the hour of sunset often the best time to set up infusions of love oil? In what circumstance is it not an especially auspicious time to set up a love oil infusion?
5. What purpose does rosemary serve in an infused love oil?