Hands-On Chaos Magic: Reality Manipulation through the Ovayki Current - Andrieh Vitimus 2009

Shards of the Self and the Shadow

When I shine a light on something, I see only the part reflected by the light. When interacting with another person, we often are only showing part of our personality and who we are. In terms of psychology, this is the mask put on for other people. Are we the same people in every situation? In a certain situation, say, at work, it might be disadvantageous to act in a way similar to the way one acts around a lover. In fact, objectively comparing the behavior, language, and gestures of the individual, without any context to explain the difference, might lead an outside observer to conclude that the person has a mental disorder. If the self and ego are one unchanging thing, that is a reasonable conclusion.

What if the different masks are the person, and the idea of a unified "I" isn't exactly correct? The way we react tends to be determined a lot by the role we are in (Haney 1973). What if the aspects we show in any situation are merely a type of suit we can put on, but we become so comfortable in the suit that we forget we can choose the clothes we want to wear? This type of model increases the amount of possibilities infinitely. We are capable of doing anything, and this idea removes the pressure to act in a consistent way in all situations.

The same person can seem wildly different depending on that in- dividual's emotions and current beliefs. In different contexts, people essentially are entirely different people. At any given time, the mirror light of our interaction with other people shines only on a small part of the person. This is what other people see. This is the conscious mind at work. There seems to be only a small set of parts that can be touched by what we consider we are at one time, given that there are no attempts to extend that ability.

Spare wrote that we could bring parts of the subconscious to the conscious mind and that the majority of magic would happen within the subconscious. At the deepest levels of the subconscious, everything is connected. Magic, according to Spare, is about diving deeper and deeper within until there is no difference between you and the desired effect or connection (Spare 2005).

Searching out new and hidden parts of ourselves gives us more tools in our toy box, allowing us to become and be more. To find and integrate these parts, one must be daring enough to seek within the subconscious mind. Obviously, we could talk about Jung, the Huna, Spare, and others for years. Studying them is never a bad idea, but this is a pragmatic adventure of doing, so we will skip over the fine philosophical details and get to experiencing them.

Ray Bradbury, in Zen in the Art of Writing, states, "Every morning I jump out of bed and step on a landmine. The landmine is me. After the explosion, I spend the rest of the day putting the pieces together. Now, it's your turn. Jump!" (1992, xv). In other words, experience the joy of creation daily and become your own indestructible phoenix.

The Jungian Shadow, the Dark, and the Unknown

Even "good" people occasionally do "bad" things. Many authors tend to describe the source of these hidden urges and behaviors as the shadow. Often it is demonized and despised to the point where people ignore their own dark side. Jung defined the shadow as an archetype to represent that which was hidden or unknown (Jung 1969). Again, for those more well read on Jung than me, this is an operational definition for us to be able to work with the metaphor.

What effect does it have to ignore a part of the psyche, even if it isn't pleasant? The entire field of psychology could be said to have been created to deal with habits, beliefs, and disorders that are not entirely conscious. This means hidden things can and do hurt people. Other scholars have pointed out that the misconception is that the hidden is always painful. In Shadow Dance, David Richo makes the point that not only is it important to deal with the pain hidden in the shadow, but in the shadow there are the elements of evolution (1999). Not only do experiential demons, pain, and issues lurk about, but also hidden abilities, powers, wisdom, and pleasure. Many schools of thought deal with dream teaching and learning from dreams. Where do dreams come from? Again, it's from the subconscious or the shadow. The inspiration for new styles of magic comes from the subconscious mind.

Does it make sense to demonize the shadow when so many lighter paths are trying to access what is hidden? Better to skip the pretenses, middlemen, and profits ... access and accept the shadow directly to gain and learn its secrets. Heal it where it is wounded in order to become whole, and walk courageously into the dark.

This process is not easy, but even negative issues serve a purpose. They are challenges to the individual practitioner and initiatory trials. Issues in the subconscious will manifest in the real world. Earlier we talked about habits, hooks below the conscious level, and other power-draining beliefs below the threshold of consciousness. In fact, a big part of sigil magic is to implant a seed in the subconscious mind to work your will on the world. This is the positive aspect of the subconscious at work. But be mindful, to do so means you are willing to work with both the good and the bad of the hidden.

The Opposites in the Shadow

The shadow has a very Taoist feel to it. Conscious representations of a role or belief become mirrored in the shadow as an opposite. It seems to always express itself in a desire for what you are not or in regret over the choices you have made (Jung 1969). The nun desires to be a whore. The psychopath desires to be loved. The tycoon searches for meaning. The scholar dreams of being an adventurer. The strongest opponents to homosexuality secretly desire their own sex. In fact, the greater the expression of a position in the physical world, the greater the subconscious desire of the opposite. The action of this, for the majority of people, is entirely automatic and outside of "conscious" choices, and yet it destroys lives (Carroll 1987).

Individuals cannot define themselves as something without some part of the shadow becoming the opposite. If the self is a temporary gestalt of parts, it is reasonable to assume that sometimes these parts will act independently via the subconscious. This could be bad or good. If it is good, we might refer to these parts as helpful spirits or angels; if it is bad, perhaps as demons. Using these words is completely arbitrary, since all of these angels and demons may originate from within. Parts of the shadow could manifest via a bad choice while drunk, a selfdestructive action when on autopilot, a flash of insight that allows us to solve a problem, or an ecstatic mood on a given day. Trying to use ritual to bring about a result could empower the opposite result if we don't work on ourselves.

Only by seeking out these parts, by retrieving their power or wisdom and assimilating back into the forming adaptable gestalt can this be avoided. Shamans refer to this as retrieving the soul shards. Jung places the idea in the shadow. Modern occultists talk about conquering internal demons.

Why not freely walk from one opposite to the other? Peter Carroll created a grid of emotional opposites. Laughter is the only emotional response that is its own opposite, since laughter can indicate madness, sadness, happiness, amusement, or many feelings all at once (Carroll 1987). Ramsey Dukes mentioned something similar in The Good, the Bad, the Funny by suggesting that dualistic thinking is creating many of the problems of the modern world (Philotunus and Dukes 2002). These hidden parts are just tools in our magical toolbox that we can use, if we are willing to accept the opposite and contradictory parts within ourselves.

Invocation of a Part of the Self: Choosing the Gestalt via Will, Not Habit

We can see our parts as our tools for success. We can bring the parts we need to the forefront. We can change our aura, our presentation, our "appearance" by merely bringing that part to the surface. Remember, a change in perception changes the world, and the memory of a change in perception locks the change down.

Since even parts of the subconscious can act independently, why not invoke them? We can name things mucking inside the subconscious. In some belief systems, one who can name something controls that thing. Being able to name a part helps us to call it forth and use it in a situation, because we now have a handle on that part. Certainly anything we acknowledge as part of us, we can use.

Say I have a psychopathic element inside. I don't like my inner psychopath. I avoid it, but when I am not paying attention, it slips out and there are consequences. I decide to name this part Ralph, for lack of a better word. (Better to name it something totally unique so you don't confuse yourself.) Now that I have something tangible to talk to, and can call it forth at will, I can even make arrangements with it, kill it off (if needed), or use the deconditioning practices detailed earlier in our adventure. You have to be in control, yet accepting of "Ralph's" needs. Perhaps Ralph is pissed off because you let people walk all over you. The inner psychopath may be able to teach you not to take other people's crap. What if you have an inner angel that is unmanifested? The parts you gain access to add to your power, skill, and ability to experience.

The Shadow Framework and Ritual

If you are familiar with evocation and invocation, the performance of either the group ritual or the individual ritual will be relatively straightforward. If you are not familiar with these two techniques, read a little ahead and come back to this section. This is, however, the right place for this section in the book. Read the section over to get a sense of what is coming, but if you have some understanding with your own methods of how to do basic sorcery, by all means try this out. The solo version of the ritual is actually tougher to perform than the group version, which I have performed several times. This reflects our individual tendencies to ignore parts of ourselves we don't like.

The Solo Ritual Framework

The shadow ritual is a very powerful framework that can be applied with multiple entities to map out different aspects of what is hidden from you. If you are doing this ritual alone, there are a couple of steps that will add to your success. You should have banishing down, especially if you are going to try to do this alone.

First, you should pick an entity of a known sort to guide you into exploring your own shadow. While ultimately this could include and should include positive or lighter entities, the first few times should be completed with darker entities. The reason for this is to confront the parts of the self that are not parts that the average person would want to admit to. These are the parts that will cause the most trouble when enchanting for things you want. As the previous section implied, they have to be found and worked with, and potentially deals might need to be made with those parts. Darker entities to try this with might include Leviathan, Morrigan, Morgan le Fay, Baron Samadhi, Nox, Set, Kalfou, Lucifer, Kali, Tiamat, Lilith, Hecate, and most "demonic" sorts of entities with a nasty reputation. Trickster entities like Papa Legba, Loki, Eris, or Eshu are indeed good first choices for this ritual as well. Of course, the trickster had better be disposed to helping you (you can find that out in advance). First and foremost, you should be able to work with the entity and should have done so a couple of times. This means that you should have some sort of arrangement and should have done at least evocations with the desired entity, but more preferably invocations with the entity. Since there are infinite shards within the self, using a different entity will show you a different aspect to what is hidden from you.

Once you have chosen the entity, try a divination about the entity to see what you're in for if using the shadow rituals with it. A bad result should be interpreted as a trial. The "god form" will only reflect the part of you that most resonates with it. This will be tremendously helpful to access different parts of yourself at will. A difficult reading should be interpreted in the context of a "difficult self" to deal with. Further research can provide ample techniques of divination.

For the purposes of the ritual, it may be helpful to use a light and legal sacrament.

You will need a small, attractive black vase or container (at least twelve ounces), some chalk or a drawn-out a triangle of art, and some sort of tape recorder or MP3 player or stereo. A triangle of art is a ritualistically prepared containment field for magical operations. We will cover triangles of art and other containment fields for magical operations in the chapters on evocation.

Solution 1 (alcoholic): Get some dark rum and add black food coloring to it.

Solution 2 (non-alcoholic): Brew a tea of mugwort and wormwood mixed together in equal parts in a standard-sized single-cup tea steeper from your local tea store. A single tea-bag-full per cup should be the right dose. Mugwort has the ability to open up spiritual centers, and wormwood is a mild psychedelic (completely legal). Black food coloring should be added. This should be heavily steeped, then added to the container.

You do not strictly need a sacrament. Water could be used. The addition of a sacrament will make it harder to cheat yourself in the process. Once you have the solution, create a sigilized mantra using the Spare method (read ahead to chapter 16 if you need to) with the intent, "Guide me into exploring the hidden sides of myself." Record the following into a tape recorder or MP3 player:

It is my will [add a pause here]

To experience the aspects of myself [add a pause here]

That are hidden from me [add a pause here]

Brought forward by my guide, [insert the name of the entity you have been doing the evocations with, and then add a pause here].

Try to be as mysterious and creative as you can with the reading. Eerie music in the background will assist with the ambiance. When you are counting down, try to allow enough time between counts for you to take a deep breath. It might take as much as eight seconds between counts if you breathe very deeply. For this pathworking, it is best if you get into a relaxed and sitting position while listening to the recorded work.

START OF PATHWORKING

For we stand here in the dark, the darkness hides all ... both the good and the bad.... The shadow of the person stands in contrast to the person. That which you hate, that which you fear, that which you don't know, those powers that you haven't seen in yourself are all there and much more hidden in the dark. To accept yourself means to accept that which is hidden in the shadow. To truly accept yourself is to love your shadow, as it is you. Your guide to the shadow permeates your body, every pore and fiber.

As you drink the sacrament, feel [insert the name of the entity you are working with], pulsing throughout your body. You may hear your guide whisper to you, and your heart may skip a beat. Close your eyes and breathe. Just breathe in and out deeply.

We will count backward from 99 to 0. As you count backward from 99, you feel your entire body become more relaxed. The power of your guide fills you, pulling you deeper and deeper into yourself.

99: You feel [the name of the entity you are working with] dripping down into your feet, grabbing hold. Feel your feet tingling extremely strongly with its power. Your whole body tingles from the power of the sacrament. Your entire body begins to quiver, but you cannot seem to move.

98-90: [Repeat the name of the entity you are working with, and then repeat the sigilized mantra you created earlier.]

89: [Insert the name of the entity you are working with] fills your knees, your hamstrings, your calves. Your back starts to tingle; your tailbone feels on fire. Your arms grow heavy and you cannot move your legs. You feel your skin change. Your surroundings darken and you cannot see anything.

88-70: [Repeat the name of the entity you are working with, and then repeat the sigilized mantra you created earlier.]

69: Your entire body quivers slightly as you feel [insert the name of the entity you are working with] coursing through your body. Your entire spine and your organs seem to tingle with [insert the name of the entity you are working with]'s power. Even with the entity in you, you are completely still.

68-50: [Repeat the name of the entity you are working with, and then repeat the sigilized mantra you created earlier.]

49: The power of [repeat the name of the entity you are working with] fills your entire body, yet your mind remains. You now feel the entity streaming throughout your body, passing through into your brain. Your face twitches and your body, completely relaxed, lets the entity flow throughout your veins and arteries. As the power of [repeat the name of the entity you are working with] seeps into your brain, you are overwhelmed. Your body tingles ever so slightly, and the entity takes control, guiding you ever more into your personal darkness.

48-40: [Repeat the name of the entity you are working with, and then repeat the sigilized mantra you created earlier. ]

39: From the waking world into shadow, that which is hidden can now be glimpsed. Travel into your own subconscious. Call out your nemesis and embrace it. By the power of [repeat the name of the entity you are working with], your shadow embraces you.

38-30: [Repeat the name of the entity you are working with, and then repeat the sigilized mantra you created earlier.]

29: As you adjust to the darkness, you see there are reflections within reflections-mirrors reflecting yourself back to you a hundredfold. Even the floor and ceiling are mirrors.

28: You can see that there may be a path through the mirrors, but it is difficult to walk. You feel the reflections staring back at you. As you feel them, they feel you.

27: Each reflection stares back at you. Each reflection looks slightly different and feels a bit off from what you consider to be you, and each one is a revolting, terrifying, beautiful, or enlightening you. All seem incomprehensible in some way, but you know the reflections are you.

26: Each reflection is a mirror of you, and yet not you. They peer into you as you peer into them.

25-10: [Repeat the name of the entity you are working with, and then repeat the sigilized mantra you created earlier.]

10: You know you can't hide from their gazes pressing across your brow. The reflections move and shift, and you can feel the inner tempest spinning, perhaps for the first time. Some laugh at you, some cry.

9-1: [Repeat the name of the entity you are working with, and then repeat the sigilized mantra you created earlier.]

They move together, coalescing into one reflection. The reflection steps out of the mirror and stares right into you. Its gaze penetrates your eyes and sees through you. It knows you all too well.

You want to flee. Stand. Face it. You tremble with unease.

It knows your secrets, your desires, and your pain. Your shadow knows. You must not run. You must stand and face it. Stand and face it. If it fights, you must hold your ground.

Ask it its name; you have a right to know. Stand with courage and ask it its name. It is you and you are it. You have a right to its name as it has your name. You must stand and face it. It is you. To be afraid is natural, to deny it is to give it control. Talk to yourself, start to befriend your reflection. Stand and face it, for it is you. Learn to love it, as it is you and it hides many beautiful and ugly things.

Stand and talk. You have everything to gain. It has waited for you a long time.

As you stand before yourself, tell yourself over and over that you love yourself and accept yourself.

[Pause for twenty minutes, add eerie music.]

The reflection melds back into the mirror and then, in another second, all the reflections are there. Walk back from darkness to light. You see a clear path through the mirrors now that there is a light. Walk back toward the light, and come back to us now.

Slowly the mirrors stride past you as the entire room gets lighter and lighter. Feel your guide leaving your body piece by piece as the light descends upon you.

Count up from 1 to 30.

1-30: Visualize the light all around you getting brighter and brighter.

Stand up from your chair. Stand up from your chair now and laugh like a madman.

[End of pathworking.]

Once you have the mixture finished, it should be placed in the container and placed in a triangle of art. Make sure you have thoroughly researched the entity (and by "researched," this includes having evoked it separately from this ritual). Sigilize the following intent using the Spare/Carroll method (again read ahead to chapter 16 if you do not know how to do this): "Imbue the following sacrament with the energies of [insert chosen entity] to act as my guide into my own shadow." Use the Ofnung progressive relaxation technique covered in chapter 2 to get into a relaxed state of mind, and then perform a full banishing of your own creation that seems in sync with your chosen entity. Visualize the entity descending over the bottle while you repeat the mantra. Do this while increasing the intensity and speed of the mantra, and while more strongly visualizing the entity over the bottle. If possible, leave your triangle and bottle in the same position and do not banish. Allow the entity to imbue the sacrament. Each evocation should take longer than thirty minutes, and you should be in a deeper level of trance when you are finished with the evocation. You should feel the presence of the entity in the triangle. Give the entity license to depart if it feels that the bottle is properly charged for that day. Obviously, you should have some rapport with the entity.

This evocation should be repeated for seven consecutive days. On the seventh day, the ritual will move toward completion. You should take the imbued container and sit in a comfortable chair. The room should be extremely dark. While still in a trance state from the seventh evocation, you should start the pathworking recorded earlier as the sacrament flows throughout your body. Follow the instructions in the pathworking. After the pathworking, you should perform a full banishing, and you should go out and get some food and/or spend time with a sympathetic friend. This can be a rough ritual. Once you have done this ritual exploring the negative sides of your personality, the guides can be switched to find more positive hidden sides to yourself. Be creative and try it out with as many entities as you see fit.

If you wish to see me do the group variant of the ritual, you have to come to a convention where I am giving a presentation or be invited to a working in whatever town I happen to be in. If the fans want it, I am sure I can do it on the side, whether or not it is formally on the bill for a convention or gathering. I can assure you, it is even more powerful than the solo ritual, and worth the trip.