At the Table: Food and Family around the World - Ken Albala (2016)

United States

Ken Albala

Many people believe that family dinner in the United States is a threatened institution. They imagine that it is deeply connected to if not substantially responsible for the breakdown of the American family. They insist that because of hectic schedules (especially for children’s activities), long commutes, and a general lack of time, eating dinner together is the first thing sacrificed. Or they claim that even if people eat together, they are distracted by the television, cellular phones, or electronic games. Many of the social ills of the nation are blamed on the demise of the family dinner as a place not only where children learn manners and social skills but also as a regularly scheduled time to communicate, learn about each other’s daily activities, and even learn the skills of compromise necessary in a democratic society.

Albala

A mother and her sons sit down to a dinner of penne, broccoli, and sausage. (Courtesy of Christine Larson)

Moreover, adding to the difficulty, it seems like no one eats the same foods anymore. There is a special category of children’s food, often breaded and fried and laden with sugar—things such as chicken nuggets, tater tots, fish sticks, pizza, hot dogs, and spaghetti. Children’s palates have been altered not by giving them bland food but exactly the opposite. It is mostly industrial mass-produced food specially designed to incite them to eat more because it causes a spike in flavor that fades away quickly. It is no wonder, many claim, that there is an obesity epidemic, especially among children. And it is also no wonder that fruits and vegetables are not appealing to young palates; they have no chance compared with flavor-enhanced industrial food. The whole situation is further complicated when adults might go on a weight-loss diet, might be avoiding wheat, or might have become vegetarian. It appears impossible to serve one set of foods that will please everyone.

There is also a general fear that home cooks have become de-skilled because of the proliferation of convenience foods and junk foods. Routine procedures that any housewife could have performed half a century ago are now obsolete. Even if these skills can been seen on TV in cooking shows, no one would think of actually doing them anymore. They are merely watched passively for entertainment value. Or if someone does cook, it is often the husband in the family as a leisure activity or for special occasions, rarely for an ordinary weekday dinner.

This at least is the perception among many Americans, and despite the fact that we have become obsessed with food, we don’t actually cook much anymore. Cooking programs are mostly outlandish competitions rather than instructional guides, as in the day of Julia Child. We may read about food in cookbooks and magazines or watch shows about food on TV, but cooking is no longer a routine part of the day. Prepared foods, convenience foods, takeout, and simply eating out all the time have replaced the home-cooked meal, it seems.

Food Deserts: United States

Inner cities and sometimes even rural areas without grocery stores in the united States are described as food deserts. This means that people have little access to fresh fruits and vegetables as well as other nutritious whole foods. They are forced to resort to quick convenience stores, where everything is either packaged or simply junk food. Often fast food is the only other option. The situation is created when retailers either can't afford the high rents in downtown districts or simply imagine that they can't make a profit in low-income areas. Or sometimes a location is so remote or has become depopulated with the loss of farming jobs so that groceries don't have enough customers to stay in business. Subsidizing food outlets and helping small retailers stock more fresh produce have been considered as solutions, but neither has been completely successful.

The reality is actually much more complex. First, the traditional family of 2 heterosexual parents and 2.5 children never really was the statistical norm. Nor can we be very certain that cooking a full meal at home every night was routine in the past. While it is true that most people would rather cut corners and, say, use canned stock rather than make it from scratch, it is not entirely certain that many people in the past could whip up a hollandaise or bake a cake. It is not at all clear that anyone but professionals had complex skills from which they could become de-skilled. The example below will illustrate that the dinner table has not disappeared in the United States. It may have changed, the definition of a family may be slightly different, and the dynamics of the table might be different than in the past. But the family dinner has not yet become extinct.

Meg Carlson is a single divorced mother with twin 9-year-old boys named Alan and Jack who attend school nearby. She is 46 years old, and after many years with a distinguished career in journalism and coauthoring many books, she decided to return to graduate school for a PhD in communications at the University of California in Berkeley. She intends to eventually get a job in academia.

She and her boys live in graduate school housing on campus. The two-level apartment has a narrow, cramped kitchen with little counter space and few cabinets, some of which are too high to reach. There is a step stool in the middle of the cooking space. The washing machine and dryer are also in the kitchen, making for an even more than usually busy work space, and sometimes dishes and cooking utensils end up on top of the dryer. On the counter there is a knife block with several well-sharpened knives and cutting boards stacked out of the way. Meg recently bought an electric sharpener for her knives. She has a Keurig coffee machine, a microwave, and a large white fridge that is usually well stocked during the week. The fridge is really too small for a busy family of three, so they constantly finds themselves rummaging in the fridge and moving out milk and other products to get to what they need. The freezer is also too small, since Meg often freezes leftovers and keeps a constant supply of frozen fruit for smoothies as well as different frozen desserts for each family member: a few times a month there’s a freezer avalanche, with ice cream bars cascading to the floor.

They have only been in the space a few months, so she is still decorating, and a few interesting items have begun to adorn the walls. She recently bought a monoprint from a local art fair for the kitchen. There is also a sign that says “The glass is always full, half water and half air,” which reflects her generally optimistic demeanor. Pictures and school notices naturally grace the refrigerator, as they do in most American households. In some respects the fridge is the center of the American household, vying for attention with the TV and increasingly nowadays with the computer. Another sign on the wall shows a cheeky 1950s housewife and reads “The house was clean yesterday. Sorry you missed it!” A giant calendar dominates one wall so the family can keep track of events. Various sheets listing household rules and chore schedules surround the calendar.

Since the kids spend most weekends with their father, meals are usually fit in around homework and other activities during weekdays. The cabinets always contain Wheat Thins, some canned soup, and just a few items that can be put together quickly. Cooking is usually done quickly, though normally from fresh ingredients. While Meg enjoys cooking, especially pizza and bread, she often finds herself strapped for time, being tugged between her demanding schoolwork, including writing a dissertation, and the kids. Dinner is almost always cooked fresh, and she is definitely health conscious, but it is usually fairly quick.

There is a small space for a dining table, where she and the boys spend much of their time doing homework, writing, and playing games. The table is covered with a new cheery tablecloth that Meg bought at World Market, a store that carries international housewares, packaged food, and wine. She would prefer to have the formal dining table that her mother bought her as a present, but it’s too big for the space, so it stays in a storage unit. Meg tries her best to keep the dining table clear, but sometimes papers and toys end up there. They usually eat off of stoneware dishes bought from Macy’s. The dishes are 15 years old and were a wedding present that she took after the divorce, likewise the silverware. The kids usually set the table, taking turns each time, and they both clear it as well after dinner.

The family doesn’t have a dishwasher, so they rotate doing dishes. The boys take turns doing the dinner dishes, everyone washes their own breakfast dishes, and Meg takes care of pots, pans, and other food-prep items. At the table they usually chitchat about their day, or someone gets excited and talks about the latest science or art project. Sometimes Meg will read a book just so their attention is focused at the table. Sometimes there will be music on, but never the TV while they eat.

The adjacent living room space always has some toys around, which she doesn’t allow at the table during dinner. Nor does she let the kids play video games or watch TV at that time, though once in a while they will eat in front of the TV as a special treat and sit on the big comfortable couches. Jack tends to get distracted and often wants to wander from the table, so keeping him there is sometimes an effort.

Dinner this weeknight consisted of pork chops that were marinated in Trader Joe’s Island Soyaki and then sautéed in a pan. She still cuts up the meat for the boys, who sometimes eat with their hands. Choosing her battles wisely, she has decided that it is more important that they are well fed. Propriety can come later. The broccoli was blanched in salted water, and then a little butter was added afterward. There was also a salad of kale and lettuce dressed with Annie’s Goddess dressing. The kids actually weren’t that hungry, since they had In And Out burgers with their dad earlier in the day before they were dropped off, but everyone ate whatever they pleased of the food put out. It was more important that they actually sit down and eat together and talk about their day. Lately Jack has been eating nearly twice as much as Alan; Jack is either going through a growth spurt or he’s ravenous from all the training he’s doing for an upcoming 5K run. So tonight was a little unusual, as neither of them ate a lot.

For tonight’s dinner, the vegetables are organic and came from a community-supported agriculture box that arrives twice a month. Meg orders a “no cooking” option, so there is no prep work. The company is Farm Fresh to You, which delivers throughout California and is based northwest of Sacramento. The medium-sized box she orders costs $33 per delivery and might contain mandarin oranges, pink lady and fuji apples, kiwis, carrots, butter lettuce, green onions, bell peppers, and celery. All of these can be eaten raw and out of the hand. She also hopes to get a space in the cooperative gardens adjacent to her townhouse complex where students grow vegetables. Growing food seems like time well spent, but in truth Meg dislikes shopping so much that she does most of her regular shopping online, one of the boons of living in the Bay Area. She says she’ll do anything to avoid going to the store.

The delivery service she uses costs about $130 a week and comes from the supermarket Safeway. This particular week she bought apples, pears, blueberries, carrots, broccoli, cauliflower, onions, celery hearts, whole grain spaghetti, a bean soup mix, two jars of grilled marinated artichokes, and two cans of whole plum tomatoes. There is also a package of Mexican Style Four Cheese blend, shredded, as well as Parmesan for pizza and crumbled blue cheese for salads.

Meg ordered ground beef, smoked pork hocks for soup, boneless pork loin chops, and Italian sausages. As usual, she always buys a variety of yogurts, which they all eat for breakfast. They especially like fruit smoothies, which she also serves to the kids’ friends when they come over. She uses a Ninja blender because it was highly rated in Consumer Reports, and she can’t imagine spending several hundred dollars for the trendy high-end blender all her friends have. She’s gotten a reputation for being the smoothie lady, and once in a while neighbors’ children will stop by asking for a one.

In this week’s order there were also Wheat Thins as usual and Cheddar Gold Fish Crackers, which the boys like for lunch. She ordered Capri Sun 25 percent reduced-sugar lemonade juice pouches, which they also like for lunch. The delivery also included flour tortillas, a jar of basil leaves, and craisins, which are sweetened cranberries.

Finally, there are organic vanilla ice cream sandwiches and Weight Watchers Giant Fudge Ice Cream Bars. She eats one almost every night. This past week she decided to go on a Weight Watchers diet, since she gained five pounds over the holidays and is very careful about her lithe figure. She has tried many diets in the past, usually with success. She also exercises about three times a week, usually running three miles or so.

From the shopping list, it is clear that Meg does actually cook the majority of their meals from raw ingredients, and there is little in the way of convenience foods or instant meals, frozen or canned. Putting these ingredients together without fuss does take a little time, but it is worth the effort in the interest of health, she firmly believes. It is rarely complicated cooking, but it is cooking nonetheless. For special occasions or parties she might roast a pork loin, and she uses a meat thermometer to gauge the exact cooking temperature. She really likes tri-tip, which is an unusual cut of beef common in California though less so elsewhere in the United States. She would normally throw steaks on the barbecue, though they don’t have one at this rental unit. She loves to entertain, even in her cramped space (the apartment is only 850 square feet), and she invites friends over to dinner at least twice a week. Spring and summer make for easier entertaining because of her outdoor patio, overlooking a large pretty communal courtyard. She’s planning to buy a grill (even though they’re not permitted in her student housing) so she can make her favorite grilled vegetables and salmon wrapped in foil with ginger and lemon.

Meg has also perfected a no-knead bread from the New York Times for which, incidentally, she has written many articles on health, finance, and a range of topics. The bread uses a little yeast and gets a long rise on the countertop, sometimes overnight. It is then placed in a preheated iron Dutch oven, which gives it a lovely crust and big irregular holes. She often bakes for parties or important occasions if she has the time. Recently Jack has been working on a science project for school to figure out the effect of kneading on bread, and as it turns out it doesn’t actually make much of a difference. Kneaded bread looks a little smoother and has regular-sized holes, but the unkneaded loaf looks more rustic and appealing. In any case, there is sometimes fresh bread on the table, and everyone in the family agrees that a pizza is just about as good as food gets, so Meg makes the dough from scratch.

For most meals, Jack drinks orange juice or sparkling water with juice; Alan drinks milk; and Meg drinks water or sparkling water with lemon. She has a seltzer machine that makes really good sparkling water. A couple of nights a week she might have a glass of wine. She also has a weakness for good port but rarely keeps it on hand.

She tries to get the boys involved in cooking, but right now that mostly involves having them pack their own lunches occasionally. She helps them make a week’s worth of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, and she keeps a bin full of lunch snacks (jerky, goldfish crackers, juice boxes) in a cupboard. She’ll slice apples or another fruit and squeeze lemon on them in the morning and usually include carrots or celery in their lunches as well. Making lunches takes a valuable 10-15 minutes at night when everyone is tired, but it makes the mornings smoother. On Thursdays, the boys buy pizza for lunch at school. Occasionally they’ll buy lunch on other days, especially if corn dogs are on the menu.

This family and their dinner could not in any way be said to represent the average American household, and of course one example statistically proves nothing about the viability of the family dinner. But it does highlight many current trends and perhaps ways in which the practice of eating together will change in the coming years. Although the family itself may transform in unexpected ways and the way people eat certainly will change, most likely toward convenience foods and prepared foods, there are small elements of this vignette that are encouraging. People do still like to cook, even though their time is increasingly eaten up by other activities. It is still an activity that can generate personal value and give meaning to expending labor for the benefit of others. Most important, eating dinner together can still be a venue for meaningful communication and social exchange whereby we learn to cooperate. It is still the place where we tell stories and practice expressing ourselves as members of a wider community, where we learn both civility and how to engage with our fellow beings. If there is any promise in the future of our civilization, it is manifest in the fact that we still can muster the energy to break bread and share with others around the dinner table.

Penne with Broccoli and Sausage

1 box whole wheat penne

Water to boil

2 heads of broccoli, florets separated from stalk

3 tablespoons oil

2-3 cloves garlic, minced

1 pound chicken sausage, Italian flavored, chopped

1.Boil penne it in salted water until almost but not quite done.

2.Blanch broccoli florets in boiling water and drain.

3.In a big saucepan, heat olive oil.

4.Add garlic.

5.Then add blanched broccoli.

6.Add chicken sausage and brown lightly.

7.Next add a little of the pasta water and simmer it all together for a few minutes.

8.Then add the almost-done penne (use a slotted spoon; do not drain or rinse).

9.Cook on the stove top a few minutes until the pasta is cooked through but still slightly al dente. Add salt and pepper to taste. Add a lot of shredded Parmesan before serving.