The Ultimate Scene and Monologue Sourcebook: An Actor's Guide to over 1000 Monologues and Dialogues from More Than 300 Contemporary Plays - Ed Hooks (2007)
PART SEVEN. THREE-PERSON SCENES
ABSURD PERSON SINGULAR
by Alan Ayckbourn (Samuel French)
Comedy: Act I, pp. 29-35, Sidney (30s), Geoffrey (30s), and Ronald (40s)
On the surface, this scene is about three men in a kitchen discussing the women in the other room. It offers a kind of leering, low-ball comedy. What the scene is actually about, however, is the male pecking order. If you are careful not to underestimate playwright Alan Ayckbourn, you’ll get a lot out of this material. Written in the British vernacular. Eliminate Jane’s appearance at the outside window. Start, Ronald: “Ah, there you are, old chap.” End, Geoffrey: “I mean face it, there’s just too much good stuff wandering around simply crying out for it for you not…[Eva enters]…Anyway, I think that would be a good idea. Don’t you?”
AND MISS REARDON DRINKS A LITTLE
by Paul Zindel (Dramatists Play Service)
Comedy-Drama: Act I, pp. 13-20, Anna (30s), Ceil (40s), and Catherine (40s)
Catherine and Ceil try to figure out what to do about their sister, Anna, who has had a nervous breakdown after becoming sexually involved with one of her highschool students. Anna, although distressed, frequently makes more sense than both of them. Start, Catherine: “Remember when Mama took us to St. Mary’s Bazaar and we put her on that little Ferris wheel? There was only enough money for one, and Mama said she could go alone.” End, Catherine: “That noise might have been just what we needed. Nowadays you need nice noises every so often—like Lebonnons Indian-wrestling under your window.”
BABY DANCE, THE
by Jane Anderson (Samuel French)
Comedy: Act I, Scene 2, pp. 28-39, Rachel (30s), Wanda (late 20s), and Al (30s)
Good old boy Al returns to his trailer home to meet the Hollywood visitor he and his wife Wanda are waiting for. Rachel and her husband, Richard, have agreed to purchase the as-yet-unborn child Wanda is carrying. The scene works on several levels: Hollywood meets Louisiana, liberalism meets bigotry, and money meets poverty. The play is billed as a drama, and the ultimate message is quite serious. The individual scenes, however, are funny. Start, Rachel: “Hello. Are you Al?” End, Rachel: “Well, Al, that’s another way of looking at it.”
Comedy: Act II, Scene 1, pp. 58-67, Richard (30s), Ron (30-50), and Al (30s)
Richard and his lawyer, Ron, are waiting in a Louisiana hospital for Wanda to give birth to her baby. Richard and his wife, Rachel, have agreed to purchase the child from poverty-stricken Wanda and her husband, Al. In this scene, Al arrives and tries to up the ante, asking for a new car as part of the deal. Richard balks, and a fistfight erupts. Finally, Al settles for a new set of tires. Start, Ron: “Al? Ron Davis. We talked on the phone.” End, Richard: “Well, good. Thank you…Jesus, I’m exhausted.”
Comedy-Drama: Act II, Scene 1, pp. 67-74, Richard (30s), Rachel (30s), and Ron (30-50)
Rachel rushes into the waiting room to announce to Richard and Ron that Wanda’s baby has been born. The euphoric celebration is short-lived, however, when they learn that the baby was oxygen-deprived and may have brain damage. Rachel and Richard then decide to back out of the deal to buy the baby. Start, Richard: “Jesus, I’m exhausted.” End, Richard: “Do you want to look at this?”
BABY WITH THE BATHWATER
by Christopher Durang (Dramatists Play Service)
Comedy: Act I, Scene 1, pp. 3-11, John (late 20s), Helen (late 20s), and Nanny (30-50)
John and Helen have a new baby and don’t know what to do with it. In fact, they aren’t even sure what gender it is. Nanny arrives from who knows where and helps out. This is outrageously surreal comedy, full of transitions that don’t make much sense and wildly fluctuating emotions. Begin at the top of the scene. Start, Helen: “Hello, baby. Hello.” End, Nanny: “Very well! Let’s just do it in the kitchen. Come on.”
BEYOND THERAPY
by Christopher Durang (Samuel French)
Comedy: Act I, Scene 6, pp. 38-53, Bruce (30-34), Bob (30-34), and Prudence (29-32)
Prudence comes to Bruce’s apartment for dinner, thinking that his male lover, Bob, is out for the evening. Bob has changed his mind, however, and the romantic evening turns into a competition between Bob and Prudence for Bruce’s affections, a struggle that Prudence would rather not participate in. Start, Bruce: “Hi, come on in.” End, Bruce (on telephone): “Mrs. Wallace, this is Bruce, we have a bit of an emergency, I wonder if you can help…We’re in desperate need of some therapy here.”
BOYS’ LIFE
by Howard Korder (Dramatists Play Service)
Comedy: Scene 2, pp. 8-14, Karen (late 20s), Phil (late 20s), and a Man (late 20s)
Karen and Phil unexpectedly meet at Jack’s party. Phil tries to rekindle their love affair, but Karen reminds him that it was, in fact, just a one-night stand, and he hasn’t called her for two months. He persists even more, inviting her to go away with him for a weekend. Karen resists at first but gradually softens. Through it all, a Man tries repeatedly to enter the bedroom where Karen and Phil are talking, and Phil keeps shooing him out. Finally, as Karen and Phil sink onto the coats on the bed and begin some serious necking, the Man enters once again, insisting that he be allowed to retrieve his coat. Karen is suddenly embarrassed and flees from the room. Once she is gone, the Man tells Phil that he is actually Karen’s date for the night. In terms of dialogue, Karen and Phil have the most, but the Man’s role can be a hoot. Start, Phil: “Well, there you are.” End, Man: “You want to reimburse me for cab fare or what?”
COVER
by Jeffrey Sweet with Stephen Johnson and Sandra Hastie (25 Ten-Minute Plays from the Actors Theatre of Louisville, Samuel French)
Comedy: One-act play, pp. 205-212, Marty (20s), Frank (20s), and Diane (20s)
Marty wants Frank to lie and tell his lady-friend Diane that the two of them were together last night, but the truth is that Marty had a date. Frank doesn’t want to lie, but when Diane brings the issue up, he finds the false words coming out of his mouth. Diane sees right through him but doesn’t challenge the men’s story. The play, which is less than eight pages long, is interesting for the undercurrent of all the negotiations going on. Start, Marty: “Work, work, work.” End, Marty: “I guess we’d better get going, hunh?”
DOUBT—A PARABLE
by John Patrick Shanley (Theatre Communications Group)
Drama: Scene 5, pp. 25-36, Sister Aloysius (50s-60s), Sister James (20s), and Father Flynn (30s)
Father Flynn comes to Sister Aloysius’s office on the presumption that they are going to discuss the upcoming school Christmas pageant. Once settled in, however, the topic shifts to a charge of sexual abuse. Sister Aloysius is convinced that the priest has molested a twelve-year-old boy. Sister James herself smelled alcohol on the boy’s breath after he spent time alone in the rectory with Father Flynn. Flynn is furious at the charge, which he declares false, and he provides the women with a thoroughly plausible explanation for all of that, including the alcohol smell. Sister Aloysius is hearing none of it. As far as she is concerned, he is guilty as charged. Start with Sister Aloysius on the telephone, “Hello, St. Nicholas School?…” End with Sister Aloysius on the telephone, calling the boy’s parents: “…I would like you and your husband to come down here for a talk. When would be convenient?”
HEDDA GABLER
by Henrik Ibsen, Adapted by Jon Robin Baitz (Grove Press)
Drama: Act II, pp. 51-56, Hedda (25-35), George Tesman (35-45), and Eilert Lovborg (35-45)
Hedda’s former lover, Eilert, arrives for a visit with Hedda and her new husband, George. Hedda and Eilert sit on a sofa and browse through photographs taken on her recent European honeymoon, but Eilert wants to talk about nothing but his feelings for her. Clearly, he hasn’t gotten over her. George, meanwhile, doesn’t have a clue (or maybe he does). He comes into and out of the scene serving coffee and cookies and pointing out the high points in the photographs. Start, Hedda: “Would you like to see some photographs of our trip?…” End, Hedda: “Careful! There’s no point in thinking that way.”
HOUSE OF RAMON IGLESIA, THE
by José Rivera (Samuel French)
Drama: Act II, Scene 1, pp. 49-57, Dolores (45), Ramon (49), and Javier (22)
The American Dream is a big bust for Dolores and Ramon, and they’re trying to move back to Puerto Rico after a nineteen-year struggle in the United States. However, selling their dilapidated Long Island house involves expensive trips back and forth to Puerto Rico to untangle the title, and they are broke. In this very dynamic scene, Ramon swallows his pride and asks his eldest son, Javier, for a loan. Javier, however, is ashamed of Ramon and his peasant ways, as well as the fact that he has worked as a janitor, and refuses to help him. Start, Dolores: “I heard what he said.” End, Javier: “Mom…(a knock at the door) Come in! It’s open!”
MISTER ROBERTS
by Thomas Heggen and Joshua Logan (Dramatists Play Service)
Drama: Act I, Scene 2, pp. 17-25, Mister Roberts (25-32), Doc (35-40), and Ensign Pulver (20-25)
Ensign Pulver has been reading Mister Roberts’s most recent request for a transfer when Roberts walks in with Doc, explaining that he just gave away their treasured bottle of scotch in an effort to have the boat ordered to a liberty port. Pulver is dismayed because he had plans for the scotch that involved a certain nurse with a red birthmark on her bottom. Doc and Roberts make a new bottle of scotch out of alcohol, Coca-Cola, and Kreml Hair Tonic. Then the conversation turns again to how much Roberts wants a transfer into battle, and Doc lights into him, explaining that he is probably already doing his best for the war effort by staying where he is. Start, Roberts: “Hey, Frank, has Dolan been in here yet with my letter?” End, Pulver: “I just threw that firecracker under your goddamn bunk.”
MURDER AT THE HOWARD JOHNSON’S
by Ron Clark and Sam Bobrick (Samuel French)
Comedy: Act I, Scene 1, pp. 11-20, Arlene Miller (38), Paul Miller (40-45), and Dr. Mitchell Lovell (36)
Arlene Miller has fallen madly in love with her family dentist, Dr. Mitchell Lovell, and they have decided that she’ll ask her husband, Paul, for a divorce. Anticipating that he might not give her one, however, the lovers have cooked up elaborate plans to kill him. Paul arrives at the Howard Johnson’s motel room where Arlene and Mitchell are secretly waiting for him. Arlene tells him about the divorce, he refuses, and an inept attempt at murder takes place. Lots of dentist jokes and cheap laughs make this a very funny scene. Start, Paul: “Arlene!?!!” End, Arlene: “Great idea. Ever since we thought of killing you at Howard Johnson’s, I’ve had a taste for fried clams.”
ODD COUPLE, THE (MALE VERSION)
by Neil Simon (Samuel French)
Comedy: Act II, Scene 2, pp. 63-68, Cecily Pigeon (30s), Gwendolen Pigeon (30s), and Felix Unger (44)
Gwendolen and Cecily Pigeon, the British sisters who live upstairs, have come down for dinner and, maybe, some fun and games. Oscar Madison happily leaves the room to fetch some drinks, leaving his friend, Felix Unger, to momentarily entertain Cecily and Gwendolen. Felix manages to transform a festive mood into one of utter gloom in no time at all by showing the girls pictures of his wife and children. This causes them to bemoan the loss of their own past loves. As Oscar reenters with the drinks, everybody is sitting on the sofa crying into their handkerchiefs. Start, Felix: “Er…Oscar tells me you’re sisters.” End, Gwendolen: “Oh dear, Oh dear, Oh dear.”
OUR LADY OF THE TORTILLA
by Luis Santeiro (Dramatists Play Service)
Comedy: Act I, pp. 5-14, Aunt Dolores (50), Dahlia (49), and Nelson (early 20s)
In this scene, Nelson wants his colorful family to behave while his college girlfriend is visiting, but this is a lost cause. Aunt Dolores, who speaks with a thick Spanish accent, prays to various saints at the drop of a tortilla and maintains a working altar in the living room. Nelson’s mother, Dahlia, is a flashy dresser who is currently bent on winning back her estranged husband from that “cow…with an ass that goes from here to the Lincoln Tunnel.” Eliminate the radio announcer. Begin at the top of the act. Start, Dolores (singing): “Ave, Ave, Ave Maria…” End, Dahlia: “…get the pastilitos ready. I’m going to change.”
Comedy: Act II, Scene 1, pp. 39-43, Dolores (50), Dahlia (49), and Eddy (mid-20s)
Aunt Dolores has discovered the face of the Virgin Mary on a tortilla shell, and now the sick, needy, and religious are crowding into the front yard wanting to share the experience. Eddie, a religious skeptic, sees a way to make a quick buck. In this scene, he tries to convince Dahlia, his mother, and his aunt, Dolores, to speak to the media. Start, Dahlia:“…get the pastilitos ready.” Continue to the end of the scene. End, Eddy:“…The tortilla lady…right!”
PIZZA MAN
by Darlene Craviotto (Samuel French)
Comedy: Act II, Scene 1, pp. 46-54, Julie (late 20s), Alice (mid-20s), and Eddie (late 20s)
Eddie, the pizza-delivery man, has no idea that Julie and Alice intend to rape him. As he relaxes on the sofa, engaging in small talk, the women begin an awkward seduction—awkward because they’ve never done anything like this before. Start, Eddie: “So when I was in the service, I started thinking about what I wanted to do with my life.” End, Eddie: “We always got extra guys to cover at night, so it’s cool. I’ll just drop off these two pizzas and I’ll be right back.”
PRELUDE TO A KISS
by Craig Lucas (Broadway Play Publishing)
Comedy: Act I, Peter (mid-20s), Rita (mid-20s), and a Waiter (any age)
Unbeknownst to Peter, his bride’s body is now occupied by the soul and personality of a mysterious old man who kissed Rita at their wedding. Now on their honeymoon in Jamaica, Peter slowly realizes that something is very wrong with his bride. She suddenly can’t remember the most intimate details of their lives, isn’t putting salt on her food, is sleeping long hours, seems to have changed her political views, and, most significantly, has decided that she wants to have children. The role of the waiter is perfunctory but necessary to the scene. Start, Peter: “Don’t you want to try one?” End, Rita: “This is me. And maybe what you saw wasn’t there at all.”
Comedy: Act II, Peter (mid-20s), Rita (mid-20s), and an Old Man (70s)
In the final scene, Peter orchestrates another meeting between Rita and the Old Man in the hope that their body transformation can be reversed. He succeeds, and the play ends on a very romantic and bittersweet note. During the first part of the scene, the Old Man speaks and acts like Rita, and she like him. Midway, he begins to act like himself, and she begins to act like herself. Begin after Mrs. Boyle’s exit. Start, Peter: “How’ve you been?” Continue to the end of the play. End, Peter: “You.”
PROPOSAL, THE
by Anton Chekhov (The Sneeze: Plays and Stories by Anton Chekhov, translated and adapted by Michael Frayn, Samuel French)
Comedy: One-act play, pp. 93-100, Natalya Stepanovna (25), Lomov (35), and Chubukov (50s)
Lomov’s marriage proposal to Natalya Stepanovna totally soured when they started arguing about whose family owns Ox Lea Meadows. He stormed out when Natalya’s father, Chubukov, joined the argument, taking her side. Now everyone has calmed down, and Lomov returns to try again. Before long, however, they argue about who has the better dog. Then, overcome with anxiety, Lomov faints. In the end, though, the lovers get together. The challenge in this excerpt is to focus on the emotional roller-coaster everyone has been on just before Lomov comes back. Start, Lomov: “Terrible palpitations!…My leg’s gone numb.…Pain in my side.…” End, Chubukov: “Champagne! Champagne! Champagne!”
RAISIN IN THE SUN, A
by Lorraine Hansberry (Samuel French)
Drama: Act I, Scene 1, pp. 20-27, Ruth (about 30), Walter (35), and Beneatha (20)
Early-morning life in this tenement apartment on Chicago’s South Side is a crowded affair, especially since two families share a bathroom that is down the hall. Against the background of constant jockeying for bathroom time, Walter tells Ruth about his dream of owning a liquor store. Then Beneatha comes into the room, and they talk about her dream of being a doctor. Start, Walter: “You know what I was thinking ’bout in the bathroom this morning?” End, Ruth: “Fifty cents? Here, take a taxi.”
SIGHT UNSEEN
by Donald Margulies (Dramatists Play Service)
Drama: Act II, Scene 5, pp. 37-47, Jonathan (35-45), Patricia (35-45), and Nick (40s)
Jonathan is the houseguest of his former lover and her archaeologist husband at their place in Norfolk, England. After dinner, sparks begin to fly when Nick announces that he detests Jonathan’s paintings. Even worse, he considers them pornographic. Jonathan, a famous and wealthy artist, defends himself and counterattacks. Patricia, Nick’s wife, is caught in the crossfire. Jonathan and Patricia are American. Nick is English and, though an educated man, comes from a rural, working-class background. His accent should reflect those origins. Start, Jonathan: “Drive down with me tomorrow.” End, Nick: “Um…shall I? Would you like me to make your bed?”
SPOILS OF WAR
by Michael Weller (Samuel French)
Drama: Act II, pp. 68-79, Elise (mid 30s), Martin (16), and Andrew (40s)
Martin has successfully engineered a meeting between Andrew and Elise, his estranged parents. However, Martin’s plan turns into a disaster as they compete for his loyalty. Elise is trying to expose Andrew as the jerk she always said he was, and Andrew is trying to expose Elise as the true culprit. You’ll have to cut and paste a bit, eliminating Andrew’s young girlfriend, Penny, who comes in and out. Start, Andrew: “You haven’t changed.” End, Martin: “Everything’s kind of screwy tonight. She makes you all tangled up. I know why you had to get away.” For a longer version, end, Andrew: “Martin…Martin, god damn it, you’re a man now, stop asking for help.”
TRUE WEST
by Sam Shepard (Samuel French)
Comedy-Drama: Act I, Scene 3, pp. 19-24, Austin (early 30s), Lee (early 40s), and Saul Kimmer (late 40s)
Austin is putting the finishing touches on his deal with movie producer Saul Kimmer when his brother, Lee, comes in with a stolen television, plops it onto the kitchen counter, and proceeds to hustle Saul, wanting to pitch his own movie idea. This is a funny scene, with Lee playing out his naive idea of the Hollywood hustle while Austin is embarrassed and Saul is thrown off guard by the colorful, shabbily dressed man. Start, Saul: “Well, to tell you the truth, Austin, I have never felt so confident about a project in quite a long time.” End, Austin: “Give me the keys.”