Everyday Cook - Alton Brown (2016)

AFTERNOON

Green Grape Cobbler

FEEDS 8 TO 10

A bunch of years ago, I demo’d at the Orange County Fair out in California, and the theme that year was grapes. Research ensued and someone in the kitchen stumbled over a grape pie that, with some tinkering, became this dish, which combines grapy with salty and creamy and crunchy and sticky and boozy. Kids love it! (Don’t worry, it’s only a couple tablespoons of brandy.)

1 pound seedless green grapes, halved

½ cup honey

2 tablespoons brandy B

2 tablespoons fresh lime juice

5 ounces vanilla wafers

4 ounces toasted walnuts (extra for garnishing, optional)

¼ teaspoon kosher salt

6 tablespoons (¾ stick) unsalted butter, melted, plus 12 tablespoons (1½ sticks)

16 ounces sour cream

1¼ cups packed dark brown sugar

2 tablespoons vanilla extract

½ teaspoon coarse sea salt, such as Maldon P

1. Combine the grapes, honey, brandy and lime juice in a zip-top bag, seal and refrigerate for 8 to 12 hours.

2. Finely grind the vanilla wafers, walnuts and salt in a food processor for 15 seconds. Drizzle in the melted butter and pulse 6 to 8 times to combine. Press the vanilla wafer mixture into an even, compact layer in an 11 × 7-inch glass baking dish. Set aside.

3. Whisk together the sour cream, ½ cup of the brown sugar and the vanilla in a large mixing bowl. Drain the grapes and discard the liquid. Gently stir the grapes into the sour cream mixture, then spread the mixture over the crust and set aside.

4. Combine the remaining ¾ cup brown sugar with the remaining 12 tablespoons butter in a small saucepan and bring to a boil over medium-high heat. Cook for 1 minute longer, then pour the sugar mixture (caramel) over the grape mixture. Do not stir! Cool at room temperature for 15 minutes, then sprinkle the sea salt on top. Chill for 1 hour before serving.

Butterscotch Puddin’

FEEDS 6

Although some historians argue that this dish does indeed hail from Scotland, I think it’s far more likely the “Scotch” is a bastardization of “scorch”; which makes sense as early recipes call for essentially burning butter and brown sugar together. One thing’s for sure, butterscotch hasn’t actually contained Scotch whiskey… until now.

You’re welcome.

2 tablespoons (¼ stick) unsalted butter

6 ounces dark brown sugar

2 cups whole milk

1 cup heavy cream

½ teaspoon kosher salt

2 ounces granulated sugar

4 large egg yolks*

1 ounce Scotch whiskey B

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1 teaspoon smoked salt P

1. Melt the butter in a 2-quart saucier or saucepan over medium-high heat. Add the brown sugar and cook, stirring occasionally, until the sugar has dissolved and the butter smells nutty, 1-2 minutes.

2. Pour in the milk, cream and kosher salt and bring to a simmer. Remove from the heat and cool slightly.

3. Meanwhile, whisk the granulated sugar and egg yolks together in a large bowl until the mixture is smooth and thick. Add the cornstarch and whisk smooth.

4. Temper the warm dairy mixture into the egg mixture by slowly ladling about ½ cup of the warm dairy mixture into the egg mixture, whisking constantly. Repeat ladling in the dairy, whisking until about a third has been worked into the eggs. At this point you can add the remaining dairy all at once.

5. Strain the pudding base back into the saucepan and return to medium heat. Continue cooking, stirring occasionally, until the mixture begins to bubble and thicken. Remove from the heat and stir in the Scotch and vanilla.

6. Pour the thickened pudding into six small ramekins, place a piece of plastic wrap on the surface of each pudding, and refrigerate until thoroughly set, at least 4 hours.

7. Sprinkle a bit of the flaky salt just before serving.

* Slowly heating the yolks will help to prevent protein overcoagulation and the graininess that can result.

(LIKE CHILDHOOD ONLY WITHOUT THE SCREAMING)

Brown on Blonde

MAKES TWELVE 2-INCH-SQUARE BARS

There was a time I felt that blondies were nothing more than brownies somebody forgot to put chocolate in. Then one day I went to make brownies and actually didn’t have any chocolate, so I made blondies…really bad blondies. Intrigued, I went to work trying to get the proper balance of buttery/nutty/chewy/crispy. The secret is to use a combination of nuts and to fry them in the butter before assembly.

170 grams unsalted butter

100 grams walnuts

55 grams pecans

272 grams all-purpose flour

6 grams baking powder

3 grams kosher salt

55 grams almond butter

346 grams dark brown sugar

2 large eggs

1 large egg yolk

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

1. Crank the oven to 350°F. Coat the insides of an 8-inch square baking pan with nonstick cooking spray and line with a sling of parchment paper.

2. Melt the butter in an 8-inch sauté pan over medium heat. When it’s done bubbling, add the walnuts and pecans and cook until the nuts are toasted and the butter smells nutty, 5 to 7 minutes.

3. Meanwhile, whisk together the flour, baking powder and salt in a small bowl.

4. Place a fine-mesh strainer over a large heatproof bowl and strain the butter away from the nuts. Set both aside to cool for 30 minutes. Then, chop the nuts coarsely and set aside.

5. While you’re waiting, beat the almond butter into the cooled butter, followed by the brown sugar, eggs, egg yolk and vanilla. Beat until completely smooth, about 1 minute, then stir in the flour mixture. Finish by folding in the nuts and transferring to the prepared pan. The batter will be thick, so I suggest a rubber or silicone spatula.

6. Bake for 30 to 35 minutes, until the edges are deeply brown and the top is dry and cracked. Remove the pan and cool on a rack for about 30 minutes. Remove from the pan, slice into squares and devour with plenty of frosty almond milk.

Kick-in-the-Pants Smoothie

MAKES 2 SMOOTHIES…OR 1 REALLY BIG ONE

Dates, that is, the fruit (drupes, actually) of the date palm, were long at the outer frontier of my culinary universe. Sure, I’d stuff them every now and then as hors d’oeuvres, but they didn’t really play a role in my daily food life. Then I stumbled across a study about their nutrition and I decided to get with it. Loads of fiber, vitamins, minerals, amino acids and a lot of (nearly 80 percent) sugar. And yet…apparently dates don’t drive up blood sugar and are therefore low-glycemic-index foods, which means no sugar crash. And then there’s the flavor. When dates are combined with coffee and relatively small amounts of cocoa, you get…chocolate. Seriously, if someone was allergic to chocolate but wanted to taste it, I’d make them this. If you want it a little less sweet, drop the agave down to 15 grams. And yes, I really do weigh all this. I just put the blender carafe on the scale H, zero it out, and load it up.

180 grams unsweetened almond milk

1 medium banana (frozen)*

10 pitted dates P

25 grams dark agave

5 grams unsweetened Dutch-process cocoa powder (1½ teaspoons)

Pinch of kosher salt

250 grams ice (about 8 ounces)

150 grams Cold Brew Coffee

1. Combine the almond milk, banana, dates, agave, cocoa powder and salt in a blender. Cover and slowly run the device up to medium speed for about 1 minute. Believe it or not, this will break up the dates better than a higher speed. After a minute, boost to high for another 30 seconds or so. Stop, add the ice and cold brew, and blend smooth.

2. Serve immediately and marvel at the chocolaty goodness, despite the fact there’s only about a teaspoon of cocoa powder.

* Any time I have bananas starting to overripen, I peel them, wrap them in plastic wrap, and freeze them. That way, I always have smoothie fodder, and I never have rotten bananas.

Chewy Peanut Butter Cookie

MAKES 16 COOKIES

A one-bowl, no-mixer cookie that’s also gluten free (bows deeply).*

1 cup smooth peanut butter

½ cup packed light brown sugar

½ cup granulated sugar

1 large egg

1 teaspoon baking soda

1 teaspoon vanilla extract

¼ teaspoon kosher salt

1. Heat the oven to 350°F. Line two half sheet pans with parchment paper and set aside.

2. Beat together the peanut butter, brown sugar and granulated sugar until well combined with a wooden spoon in a large bowl. Add the egg, baking soda, vanilla and salt and beat until well combined.

3. Roll the dough into 1-ounce balls, place 8 per prepared sheet pan, then flatten with the tines of a fork. Bake for 10 minutes, or until the cookies look dry and are just lightly browned. Cool the cookies for 2 minutes on the sheet pans.

* I honestly don’t care about the gluten-free part. I’m just looking for excuses to eat cookies.

Thai Iced Tea

MAKES 1 QUART, FEEDS 4

Next to coffee, Thai tea is my favorite beverage on earth. Problem is, dye-packed, quick-brew mixes have become so prevalent that finding a suitable sample out in the world has become tough. The answer, of course, is make your own. I like mine to have a tang to it, so I start with Earl Grey tea rather than standard black tea, and I include tamarind pulp. Is it nice and clear like Southern sweet tea? Nope. But since I always put a little half-and-half in mine, I care not.

5 cups filtered or bottled water

6 Earl Grey tea bags

1 ounce fresh tamarind pulp, smashed*

8 green cardamom pods

8 whole cloves

2 whole star anise pods P

1 cinnamon stick

½ vanilla bean or 1 teaspoon vanilla extract

¼ teaspoon kosher salt

½ cup sugar

½ cup half-and-half

1. Bring the water to a boil in a 2-quart saucepan. Remove from the boil and add the tea bags, tamarind, cardamom, cloves, star anise, cinnamon, vanilla and salt.

2. Cover the saucepan with a lid and steep the tea for 20 minutes.

3. Remove the tea bags and strain out the spices and vanilla bean (if using).

4. Add the sugar and stir to dissolve.

5. Chill the Thai tea base for at least 8 hours before serving over ice with a splash of half-and-half.**

* To get the pulp out of a tamarind pod, just crack the thin outer case and remove the pulpy interior. Some folks pick out the seeds, but I don’t bother. Two pods usually yield the correct amount. If you want to use packaged paste, that’s fine too.

** Canned milk is more authentic since it was probably the only dairy that colonists could get their hands on when they moved into Southeast Asia. But, I think the fat content of half-and-half is better at balancing the tannins in the tea.

Savory Greek Yogurt Dip

MAKES 1 QUART

I’m a big-time dipper. I’d probably eat a pinecone if I had the right dip. Come to think of it, this might be just that dip. Also good for schmearing on burgers, wings and falafel, and, of course, it will upgrade nearly everything in the vegetable department. You can also mix it with chopped garlic and cucumbers into a fast tzatziki-like sauce.

1 quart plain Greek yogurt

1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh flat-leaf parsley

1 tablespoon finely chopped fresh mint

1 teaspoon ground cumin or smoked paprika P

1 teaspoon grated lemon zest

1 teaspoon kosher salt

½ teaspoon freshly ground black pepper

Combine the yogurt, parsley, mint, cumin, lemon zest, salt and pepper in a medium bowl. Transfer to an airtight container, cover and refrigerate for up to 10 days.

Crispy Chickpeas

MAKES 2 CUPS

2 15-ounce cans chickpeas

2 tablespoons olive oil

1 teaspoon kosher salt

1 teaspoon sumac P

¼ teaspoon cayenne pepper

1. Rinse the chickpeas under cold water in the basket of your salad spinner. Drain, then spin in the spinner to dry even more. Move to a paper towel-lined half sheet pan. Top with another layer of paper towels, roll up and pat to dry even more. In case you don’t see the pattern here, what we’re after is dry!

2. Remove the paper towels from the sheet pan and toss the chickpeas with the olive oil and salt. Put the pan (with the chickpeas) in a cold oven, set a timer for 30 minutes and crank the oven to 350ºF.

3. Turn the oven off and leave the chickpeas inside to dry and become crispy, about 1 hour.

4. Toss the still-warm chickpeas with the sumac and cayenne pepper. Cool completely before storing.

5. Devour as a snack or use unseasoned in Not Just Another Kale Salad.

Red, Red Wine (Sangria)

MAKES 12 SERVINGS

Sangria is not only my favorite summer punch, it’s probably the simplest and cheapest one to fabricate. And if there’s ever been a more food-friendly quaff, I can’t think of what it would be.

2 cups chopped fruit, such as apples, pears, strawberries or plums, plus more for garnish

3 tablespoons sugar

1 cup brandy B

2 bottles red wine, preferably Rioja or Grenache blend*

½ cup fresh orange juice

½ cup lemon-lime soda

1. Combine the fruit, sugar and brandy in a 3-quart pitcher and stir until the sugar dissolves. Refrigerate for 6 to 8 hours.

2. When you’re ready to serve, add the wine, orange juice and lemon-lime soda to the pitcher and stir to combine. Pour over ice and garnish with more fruit.

* Grenache is one of the most plentiful grapes of the wine world, but due to some specific deficiencies (acidity for one), it’s rarely bottled on its own, but rather blended. Many wines from the southern Rhône employ high percentages of Grenache, as do others from Spain. Increasingly, you see it in wines called GSMs or Grenache/Syrah/Mourvèdre blends.

Zissou’s* Buffet of Underwater Delights

FEEDS 6 TO 8

I typically prepare a massive pot of this out in the yard using the derrick I devised for frying turkeys, but this version has been recalibrated for indoor cookery.

¼ cup low-sodium soy sauce

2 tablespoons Asian chili garlic sauce, such as Huy Fong**

1 tablespoon fish sauce P, such as Red Boat

1 tablespoon Chinese five-spice powder P

1 pound small red potatoes, halved if 2 inches or larger in diameter

1 bunch scallions, trimmed and halved

1 head garlic, cloves separated but not peeled

1 ounce fresh ginger, peeled and cut into ¼-inch slices

2 ears of corn, shucked and halved

8 ounces Chinese sausage (lap xeong), cut into 1-inch pieces***

1 large lime, quartered

1 1½- to 2-pound lobster

8 ounces (31/40 count) head-on, tail-on shrimp

8 ounces small clams, such as littleneck

8 ounces mussels, debearded and rinsed

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT

A pot in the 8-quart range with a steamer insert or basket H

1. Place 2 quarts water, the soy sauce, chili sauce, fish sauce, five-spice, potatoes, scallions, garlic and ginger inside the pot and bring to a boil over high heat.

2. Meanwhile, into the steamer insert, place in this order the corn, sausage, lime, lobster, shrimp, clams and finally the mussels.

3. When the goodness in the pot is boiling, lower the steamer insert into the pot. Cover and cook for 8 to 10 minutes, until the clams and mussels just open.****

4. Lift the steamer basket out of the pot enough to allow any liquid to drain. Then dump the contents onto a large platter, into a bowl, or even right onto a table lined with newspaper. Use a spider H to fish out the potatoes onto the serving vessel. Ladle the broth into cups or bowls and serve the lot.

* I am a lifelong member of the Zissou Society.

** Although the most popular form of this sauce comes in a jar with a rooster on it, don’t confuse it with sambal oelek (see Chili-Glazed Wings, Cockpit Shrimp Cocktail), which also has a chicken on it. The difference: Chili garlic sauce contains garlic, sambal does not.

*** Chinese-style sausages come in myriad styles but can generally be divided into fresh and dried or aged. The first is more like Italian sausage and the second like…well, a Slim Jim. You want to go with the one that looks the least shriveled.

**** If the pot/liquid combo is right, the bivalves will be above the level of the liquid and will steam rather than boil.

Cucumber Lime Yogurt Pops

MAKES 8 TO 12 POPS

I live in the South. If you haven’t spent any time down here, allow me to inform you that it gets freakin’ hot. Have you ever seen The Walking Dead? See how those people sweat? That’s not because they’re plagued by zombies, that’s because they’re plagued by Georgia heat. If only they realized relief comes at the end of a creeping vine of the Cucurbitaceae family upon which grows a fruit called the cucumber. The fact that these things are frozen doesn’t hurt.

1 pound cucumbers, seeded and chopped

½ cup plain Greek yogurt

½ cup Demerara sugar P

1 large lime, zested and juiced

½ teaspoon chile powder*

¼ teaspoon kosher salt

SPECIAL EQUIPMENT

Popsicle molds, Popsicle sticks

1. Combine the cucumbers, yogurt, sugar, lime zest, lime juice, chile powder and salt in a food processor. Puree for 30 seconds, stop, scrape down the sides of the food processor bowl and puree until smooth.

2. Pour the mixture into Popsicle molds, add the Popsicle sticks, and freeze for 4 hours, or until solid. Store in a zip-top bag in the freezer for up to 2 weeks.

* It’s been proven that spicy foods can cool you down by increasing blood flow and making you sweat. And in this case, the chili powder tastes good too.

Fiery Ginger Ale Concentrate

MAKES ABOUT 18 OUNCES SYRUP, ENOUGH FOR ABOUT 8 SERVINGS

I like ginger ale, but most commercial examples are just too darned sweet for me. By mixing this syrup with soda water, I can dial it in exactly the way I like. And yes…ginger and cinnamon.

125 grams (4.4 ounces) crystallized ginger P, coarsely chopped

1 cinnamon stick, lightly crushed

575 grams water (just make it 20 ounces if you like)

1. Bring all the ingredients to a boil over high heat and keep it there for 2 minutes. Then kill the heat and allow to steep for 1 hour.

2. Strain out the solids, cool completely and refrigerate in a sealed container for up to 1 month.

3. When you desire a glass of refreshing goodness, simply mix 2 ounces syrup with 6 to 8 ounces of cold sparkling water. If you’re feeling especially naughty and don’t have anywhere to go, mix 2 ounces syrup with 2 ounces vodka and top it off with the soda.