Summary of Carry On, Warrior: The Power of Embracing Your Messy, Beautiful Life - Book Summary (2016)

Part II. COMMITTING

Chapter 10. Lucky Seven

Dear Craig,

One night, not all that long ago, after we put the kids to bed, you and I squeezed alongside each other on our big green couch and stared at the pictures of our babies on the mantle. We noticed together how lovable and perfect they were frozen in those pictures, unable to move or pinch each other or beg for dessert. We discussed how achingly much we loved them, especially when they were asleep. After some quiet, I said, “I love you more today than I did on our wedding day.” A moment passed before you replied, “Me too. But to be fair, we didn’t really love each other that much on our wedding day.”

My eyes widened and I sat up quickly and tried to decide if my feelings were hurt. Then we burst out laughing, and I cried a little. It was the first time we’d acknowledged how confusing and terrifying that day was. That day in your parents’ backyard when we met at the end of a long white aisle and promised to love each other ’til death, certain only that we had two things in common: the little one inside me, and the shared belief that eventually, if we just did the next right thing as we understood it, Everything Would Be Okay.

It was the first time we’d admitted to each other that ours was a type of arranged marriage, like they have in India. Only instead of by tradition and parents, ours was arranged by too much wine and too few precautions. And God, maybe. But did I love you that day? I guess I couldn’t have, because I didn’t even know you then. You were a gift I hadn’t yet unwrapped.

I didn’t know that when we brought Chase home from the hospital and laid him on the floor of our little apartment, I would look at your face and see that there was nothing more to worry about, because it was clear that you were officially hooked on us.

I didn’t know that you and I would lie in bed together each night, hold hands under the covers, and ask God to protect our babies and each other. I didn’t know that I’d awaken during your midnight newborn shifts and hear you singing to our baby girl. I didn’t know that you’d allow Sister to fall into our home and arms and that you’d rebuild her broken heart one hug, one grilled turkey burger, one silly dance at a time.

I didn’t know that your goodness, your generosity, and your loyalty would be lifeboats to my parents during the storm of their lives. That all by yourself, just being who you are, you would preserve their faith in people.

I didn’t know that you’d hold me tight the nights our adoptions fell through and whisper to me not to worry, because we’d never give up.

I didn’t know that when you left each morning, I’d have your gentle spirit in Chase, your playfulness in Tish, and your affection in Amma to keep me company.

And I didn’t know when I started recording our silly, seemingly insignificant daily adventures, that what I’d end up with, on second glance, is a Love Story.