What It Was Like, Part One - Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between) (2016)

Talking as Fast as I Can: From Gilmore Girls to Gilmore Girls (and Everything in Between) (2016)

What It Was Like, Part One

Do you ever find yourself walking down the street thinking “I feel like Lauren likes me, but does she love me?”

The answer is yes. Yes, I do. And I’m going to prove it to you by doing something I haven’t done in approximately fifteen years—not even for friends or relatives or employers.

I’m going to watch myself on television.

I’m not sure when I stopped watching things I was in—it’s probably more like I never really started. I learned fairly early on that I was not one of those actors who was helped by seeing myself onscreen. It took at least three viewings of something I was in to even begin to be objective, and on Gilmore Girls, we did twenty-two episodes each season. If I stayed inside watching myself for all those hours, I’d never make it out to the grocery store, not to mention I’d become unbearable as a human. Making so many episodes for seven years straight did something funny to my memory too, and so today it’s hard to recall exactly what was going on back then, or distinguish season from season. But I want to tell you what it was like for me to play Lorelai all of those years. So I’m going to at least scroll through all the episodes to see what I can come up with, to give you a sense of it as best I can. The Internet has already done its job in terms of ranking episodes and naming its favorites. My goal here is just to give you my take on what was going on personally.

Just so you have a visual: I’m in my apartment in Manhattan, and it’s the summertime. It’s a million degrees outside, and my sister and most of my friends who live here are out of town at a beach somewhere. There’s almost no one in my apartment building. Which means not only am I going to spend the next three days watching myself, I am also going to be my only company. So if, during this time, TMZ reports that I’ve gone crazy and trapped the Chinese-food delivery man inside my apartment because I “just needed someone to talk to,” you’ll understand why.

MAKING THE PILOT

Alexis Bledel and I met for the very first time in the lobby of a hotel in Toronto. Can you believe that? We’d both been cast in the show without ever having met. I was cast very late in the process, partially because of the M.Y.O.B. thing. So there was no time for a chemistry read—usually a minimum requirement when casting two actors whose relationship is vital to the success of a show. There’d been no time for anyone to even see us standing side by side, just to make sure we looked related. We met in that lobby and went straight to dinner with our new employers, series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino, executive producer Dan Palladino, and producer Gavin Polone. I was overwhelmed, but I could tell I liked her right away. She was only eighteen years old, but kind and curious, and beautiful of course. I had a good feeling about us from the start. We clicked as friends right away too. But it was all a stroke of luck!

A few months later, the show was picked up, which was exciting but also worrisome, because, as mentioned, I wasn’t actually available to do it. If NBC decided they wanted to keep going with M.Y.O.B., I’d have to be replaced on Gilmore Girls. So, in a strange sort of limbo, I traveled to New York in May 2000 for the upfronts—the annual event where networks present their new season to advertisers—to promote Gilmore Girls. In the greenroom, where the actors and executives mingled before going onstage, there was a giant screen where a clip reel of all the new shows being launched was playing on a loop. Some WB executives came over to introduce themselves.

“The show looks great,” one of them said, just as my face came on the screen behind him.

“Tough time slot,” said another.

“Why, what’s the time slot?” I asked.

Today, if a new show of mine was picked up, that’s one of the first things I’d want to know. Back then, it somehow hadn’t occurred to me to find out.

“Thursdays at eight,” he told me.

Even the less savvy me of the time knew what that meant. My stomach dropped. “Oh, so we’re already cancelled,” I joked. He didn’t say anything, but smiled sympathetically and sort of shrugged in a way that said he didn’t disagree.

Thursday night on NBC was, in the year 2000, the biggest ratings night on all of television. We’d be up against Friends, the number one show at the time. The WB itself was still very new, and the ratings, even of their most successful shows, already tended to be much lower than those of the big four networks. So on Thursday nights against America’s favorite sitcom, we had almost zero chance of finding an audience.

Oh, well, I thought, I probably can’t do this show anyway. And even if I was let out of my M.Y.O.B. contract, I faced a Thursday time slot that basically spelled doom. Here we go again, I thought. I’d worked fairly steadily since moving to Los Angeles from New York, but every single show I’d done up until then had been cancelled in its first season. Why should Gilmore Girls be any different? I’d fallen in love with the script right away, but I loved M.Y.O.B. too, and the ratings were only so-so. My show business heart had been broken before, and I was starting to get used to it.

I turned back to the clip reel just as Gilmore Girls came on again. Goodbye, new show! I said to myself.

In front of me, two women who looked to be pretty close in age were watching the screen. As our scenes played, they gasped and grabbed onto each other, their faces lighting up. “Mom, that’s us!” the daughter said, beaming at her young-looking mother. They seemed shocked and pleased to see themselves reflected in the characters. Something had clearly struck a chord with them in a big way.

Hmmmm.

SEASON ONE

The first scene we filmed is the first scene you see in the pilot: a guy in Luke’s hits on Rory, and then Lorelai, and we reveal they aren’t girlfriends, as he assumed, but in fact mother and daughter. Watch it back and you won’t believe you’re watching a young actress (Alexis) in her first on-camera scene. Also, what’s so funny about this pilot by today’s standards is that while the dialogue is delightful from the start, nothing really happens for the first fifteen or twenty minutes, until Rory gets into Chilton and Lorelai has to ask her parents for money. Today, if a mother and daughter speaking clever dialogue didn’t also reveal themselves to be surgeons, werewolves, or undercover detectives by the end of the teaser, we’d never be picked up. Also, we all look twelve years old.

Frankly, what I remember most when I watch this season is the degree to which I was on an adrenaline-fueled dialogue high the whole year, if that makes any sense. I hadn’t had material this dense since back in acting school. I found the pace and sheer volume of it exhilarating. Rather than being tired out by the long hours, I had extra energy as a result. I slept about four hours a night and still felt great. I ran every day at lunch in the WB gym. Ah, youth!

Watching Scott Patterson this season reminds me—you know, that part wasn’t necessarily the inevitable love interest for Lorelai that it became. He was simply Cute Grouchy Diner Owner in the beginning, and it could have gone in any number of directions, but Luke took on a more important role because of Scott’s special sexiness, which was mixed with a gruffness that was the perfect contrast to Lorelai’s chirpy cheerfulness. Watch and learn, young actors—if you’re interesting, the camera finds you.

Kelly Bishop and Ed Herrmann were perfectly cast as Emily and Richard. They both exude aristocratic elegance that tells you right away the kind of household Lorelai grew up in, and why she might have found it a bit stuffy at times. As actors, they both have emotional depth and impeccable comic timing. Plus, as people, they’re pure joy to be around.

A few months into filming that year, I remember Alexis and I went to see Melissa McCarthy perform in the Groundlings for the first time, and we were completely blown away by her. I wondered then if anyone would ever figure out a way to expose how uniquely talented she was. Of course her Sookie character was a delight, but could she find a way to showcase the other hilarious and original characters she was able to create? Why yes, People. Yes, she could.

David Sutcliffe’s Christopher is so appealing it makes you wonder once in a while if Lorelai and Rory’s dad should have stayed together after all. And Yanic Truesdale created such a unique character in Michel, especially since, in person, he’s warm and funny and hardly ever suffers from ennui like Michel does.

So many other special players make Stars Hollow what it is: I’m always wowed by Sally Struther’s humor and warmth, Liz Torres’s sultry delivery, and Sean Gunn’s total commitment to whatever Kirk’s new passion is. I love the fun feuds between Lane and Mrs. Kim, Michael Winters makes those long Taylor speeches look effortless, and Rose Abdoo’s Gypsy is just a gem. Most other shows on the WB at the time were peopled with young hotties. I love that we were peopled with a lot of interesting people.

Times were different: Lorelai complains when Emily tries to install a DSL line, claiming she doesn’t need one. AHAHAHA, yes, you do, Lorelai, and just you wait a few years till your BlackBerry stops working altogether. Rory wonders if there’s still hope for Sean Penn and Madonna (there isn’t!); Kelly complains about kids today wasting their time watching “MTV and a hundred TV channels,” which doesn’t seem like all that many by today’s standards; and I write my number down for Max Medina on a business card!

Fashion and hair: Wow, lots of leather blazers and blue eye shadow? For some reason, I was very into blue eye shadow this year. My makeup artist at the time worried it was a bit much, but I liked anything bright and bold for Lorelai. Donna Karan nylons abound. They were new and very popular; there were no Spanx back then, and these stockings, with serious control top built in, were revolutionizing ladies’ stomachs all across the land. My skirts are very short this year and my hair is veeeeery black and I remember there was much discussion about what to do about it. (The hair, not the skirts. No one in the history of television has ever worried about skirts being too short.) Boring but important hair note: The color was just one of my hair issues. My hair is also naturally curly and extremely sensitive to the weather. This means that in order for me to wear it curly, it has to first be straightened, then curled, which sort of defeats the whole supposed “luck” of having naturally curly hair in the first place. So figuring out how best to make it last throughout a fourteen-hour day took some experimentation over the years. Stay tuned for the exciting results!

What I love: There are so many great episodes from this year, but for me, the show really hits its stride in episode six, “Rory’s Two Birthdays,” where the Gilmores have a very fancy party for Rory that’s in stark contrast to the cozy one Lorelai throws, full of junk food and a cake with Rory’s face on it and Stars Hollow locals. Kelly is marvelous in the scene in Lorelai’s bedroom where she sees a picture of Lorelai with a broken leg and they both really begin to get, in a new way, how much they’ve missed not being part of each other’s lives. From the start of the show, Kelly named herself my TVM, or TV mom, by which she meant she was taking her character’s role seriously, beyond the pages or the sets and out into the real world. Right away we developed the easy rituals of old friends: meeting for lunch at Joe Allen in New York, or out for guacamole at our favorite Mexican place in L.A., or allowing ourselves to split a little bag of Cheetos when we were filming in the middle of the night. In a maternal, protective way, she found most of my boyfriends at the time lacking, and once told me I needed someone who was more my equal, like “that wonderful actor on Six Feet Under.”

Hmmmm.

Season finale: Over the course of this first season, we began to realize that our tough time slot might actually have been a gift. What expectation could the network possibly have for us to get any ratings against such tough competition? Yet bit by bit, we began to accumulate nice notices and loyal viewers.

In the last episode, Rory finally says “I love you” to Dean, and Max Medina proposes to Lorelai with a thousand yellow daisies. (Although, weirdly, he does it over the phone.) If you’ve ever seen series creator Amy Sherman-Palladino in person or read her interviews, you already know she’s very, very funny, and very, very bright. But the mind of the person who conceives of such a grand romantic gesture as this? Genius.

SEASON TWO

This year the WB moved us to Tuesday nights at eight (so long, Friends!), and the ratings began ticking up. I was nominated for a Golden Globe and a SAG Award, and I also got to present at the Emmys. My dates to these events were, in order, my manager, my dad, and my cousin Tim. I was very popular! (With people I worked with and/or was related to.)

Times were different: Christopher gives Lorelai a DVD of The Graduate (no Netflix then) and a disposable camera (these were a HUGE innovation at the time) to take pictures at Rory’s graduation. A classmate of Lorelai’s complains about her job at Kinko’s (ubiquitous copy places before FedEx took over the world). And Lorelai and Rory invite Dean over to watch the TV movie Tears and Laughter: The Joan and Melissa Rivers Story, starring Joan and Melissa Rivers as themselves. (Which reminds me: Joan Rivers was a fellow Barnard alum, and was always so nice and supportive when I saw her on the red carpet. To my knowledge, she always went easy on me, fashion-wise. When I co-wrote a pilot about an aspiring late night talk show host, played by me, I had my character (me) speak to a photo of Joan she keeps on her dressing room mirror. As both a comedian and an inspiration, she is missed.)

Fashion and hair: I mean, I open the season wearing a sleeveless T-shirt with the face of a pug on it. In the second episode, just for variety, I sport a sleeveless T-shirt that gives the illusion that I was also wearing a bunch of pearl necklaces—my fashion evolution this year couldn’t be more evident.

Slip dresses were also very big in 2001, and I wear a lot of them this season. Although am I the only one who’s noticed that slip dresses are basically indistinguishable from plain old slips because they are, in fact, not dresses but just slips? We were all running around in our undergarments feeling fancy-free. They’re back in fashion now, and still no one has blown the lid off this conspiracy to get us to pay more just to wear our underwear in public.

Over the summer I dyed my hair red because it seemed like a fun idea, and then had to dye it back for the show. So this season my hair is black with red undertones, and super-damaged. At some point I did this Japanese straightening treatment that was all the rage then, and my hair turned stick straight and shiny, yet rigid and broom-like.

What I love: Episode 4, “Road Trip to Harvard,” where, in the face of Max and Lorelai’s breakup, Rory and Lorelai bond on the road, and Episode 7, “Like Mother Like Daughter,” where Kelly and I model the same fashions. Also, that diet Michel talks about, where he’s reducing his calories by 30 percent because a study showed it helped rats live longer? It was based on the real-life diet of our producer and health buff Gavin Polone. He is to this day extremely thin, although probably also 30 percent hungrier than the rest of us are.

Season finale: Where “Oy with the poodles already” was born! I’ve said it on command for you in airports across the land, but honestly I forgot where exactly in the show it appeared. Now I remember!

For you speed nerds, note how over the course of this year, the pace of the show increased exponentially, and everyone began talking a whole lot faster. This was around the time when we started to be known for that. Watch the first and last episodes back-to-back, and it’s super-evident. I was sort of talking that way already, but it starts to become Stars Hollow-wide. This resulted in our already lengthy scripts getting even longer. Also, I remember having an audition this year and being asked before I went in if I could “talk normally.” Ha!

Also, in general, how great is Liza Weil as Paris? Discuss.

SEASON THREE

Ah yes. Here’s the episode “Eight o’Clock at the Oasis,” where I single-handedly launched Jon Hamm’s career by casting him as Peyton Sanders. Just kidding—I had nothing to do with his casting or any of his success to come. But I do remember thinking what a talented, foxy dude he was.

In the episode “Lorelai Out of Water” my fishing-gear looks are truly upsetting, that’s my friend Billy Burke playing my beau, and Adam Brody is so charming as Dave Rygalski.

Times were different: In the second episode this year, someone *69s our cassette-tape-based answering machine!

Fashion and hair: In the opening scene this season, I’m wearing a nightgown—or is it a slip dress? Lots of floral prints this year. And it looks like I was giving curly hair another go. Let’s see how many episodes I last before abandoning this folly—will I never learn?

What I love: The speech in the first episode where Lorelai confesses to Luke she’s worried she’ll never have “the whole package” now that she and Christopher have broken up. It was timely for Lorelai, and I think for me too. Amy wrote and directed this episode, and Luke consoles Lorelai in such a generous way, even though you can tell it’s causing him pain to do so. Well played, Scott Patterson. And in the episode “The Big One,” Liza gives her fantastic “I’m not going to Harvard” speech. Amy wrote this one too. She really is the master of moments that are heartbreakingly funny.

Season finale: That’s my sister Maggie sitting right between Rory and Paris at the Chilton graduation.

Over the years, many family members made cameos, in fact. My cousin Tim still talks about his favorite episode: “The one about the guy carrying flowers through the lobby of the Dragonfly.” He (obviously) starred in it as The Guy. I’m sure it’s your favorite episode too.

Rory’s speech to Lorelai at graduation gets me every time. Oh, and the season began with Lorelai having a dream about being with Luke, and ends with Luke having one about Lorelai. I never noticed that parallel before!

SEASON FOUR

In the second episode this year, that’s our dialogue coach, George Bell, playing Professor Bell at Yale. One of my favorite pieces of dialogue actually happens a few episodes later, in this exchange between Kelly and me regarding my logo sweatpants:

EMILY: You have the word “juicy” on your rear end.

LORELAI: Well, if I’d known you were coming over, I would have changed.

EMILY: To what—a brassiere with the word “tasty” on it?

Getting my makeup done for “The Festival of Living Art” episode every day for a week taught me that I would never want to be in an actual Festival of Living Art. Torture. However, our makeup artists won an Emmy for this episode, which was pretty darn cool.

Times were different: Rory realizes she wrote her Yale moving-in date down wrong when she double-checks her Filofax day planner.

Fashion and hair: The season opens with Lorelai and Rory returning from their backpacking trip through Europe. I’m proud yet horrified to tell you that the entire outfit I’m wearing in the first scene—the kelly-green EVERYONE LOVES AN IRISH GIRL T-shirt, the Ireland soccer jacket, and the oversized knit pom-pom hat with the word DUBLIN on it—were all from my personal closet. Oh, and the gold clover necklace was mine too. I was really hitting the Irish thing hard.

Not sure what I did to my hair in Episode 15, “Scenes from a Mall,” but it’s suddenly Grand Ole Opry-level voluminous.

What I love: This was a great season for hunky Milo Ventimiglia as Jess facing off against hunky Jared Padalecki as Dean. They are both so talented and equally compelling as suitors, I can see why “teams” formed. I love Michel’s devotion to his chow-chow too. This was probably the year Amy and Dan got theirs, to whom they were also extremely dedicated. I also love little clever things, like Rory waking up with a Post-it on her head that Lorelai left as a reminder, and that a tipping point in Lorelai’s feelings for Luke is the discovery that “Luke can waltz,” embellished with lots of eyebrow wagging on my part, for emphasis.

Season finale: In general, I remember being worried about what would change when Rory went off to college and Lorelai and Rory didn’t live together anymore, but I think it was handled well. By the end of this season, Luke and Lorelai (finally) kiss, and Dean and Rory reunite, although he’s still married, which is the start of trouble between mother and daughter. All our guys are at bonkers hotness levels this season. And it was so much fun to have my New York-based friend Chris Eigeman, who played Jason Stiles, in town for a while.

SEASON FIVE

This is basically a whole season of Rory and Lorelai having tension, Emily and Richard having tension, and Dean and Lindsay having tension. Fight, fight, fight!

Times were different: Lorelai says something about being worried there’s anthrax on her bagel. Anthrax was terrifying at the time, but it seems like a relatively mellow threat given what we face now. Can you imagine being all that worried today about something coming toward you at the speed of the post office? Also, at a Friday night dinner gone wrong, Lorelai asks one of Emily’s maids for a phone book so she and Rory can order a pizza.

Fashion and hair: Shrugs—little mini-sweaters—are very big this year. Also, wearing short-sleeved shirts layered over contrasting colored long-sleeved shirts. Thankfully, I seem to have managed to tame my country singer hair a bit. I’m wearing my own glasses in “We Got Us a Pippi Virgin,” which makes me look a little like Tina Fey, I think. Here I am doing “Weekend Update”:

What I love: Talented Matt Czuchry joins the cast, further complicating whom you’d choose as Rory’s Destiny. And we hit one hundred episodes this year, which was quite a milestone. To celebrate, they brought the cast and crew down to one of the stages, where we took a big group photo and were given a giant cake to share. At the time I thought this was sort of anticlimactic. Like, “Thanks for the hundreds of hours of work; please enjoy this vanilla icing!” Later I learned that a one-hundred-episode cake is the standard tradition. Every show that gets there does it. We got a cake on Parenthood too. So it’s a nice thing. But if I ever get close to hitting a hundred episodes again, I’m going to try to bump this tradition up to diamonds, or a chocolate fountain at least.

In our one hundredth episode, Emily and Richard renew their wedding vows. Ed’s face as Kelly walks toward him down the aisle is just beautiful.

Season finale: Rory tells Lorelai she wants to take time off from Yale. Lorelai is upset and doesn’t want her to move back home. Luke tries to help Lorelai, and her response is “Luke, will you marry me?” And before he even has time to answer her, it’s the end. Wow. As season finales go, that’s a pretty exciting one.

SEASON SIX

While I totally understood the need to keep the story moving in different directions, I have to admit I struggled with the Lorelai/Rory separation this year. It went on for a while, and Lorelai was so crabby with Rory for several episodes, not to mention that I missed my favorite scene partner. I’d never played a character for this long, and while it’s a bad actor cliché to say “my character would never do that,” the line between personal and professional starts to get so blurry, and after a while you start to feel like what’s happening to your character is sort of also happening to you. I remember talking about it with Amy, who felt it was important developmentally that this always-close relationship hit a significant growing pain. Still, I felt bad in scenes where I kept holding a grudge.

Also during this season, Lorelai adopts Paul Anka (the dog, not the person), and Rory and Logan in love are extremely fun to watch!

Times were different: Lorelai attempts to clean house but refuses to part with most of her VHS-tape recordings of old television episodes like Knots Landing and 21 Jump Street, partially “because the commercials are the best part.”

Fashion and hair: All my blazers look too short—either that was the fashion that year or I had a growth spurt. Oh, and puffy sleeves on everything—an adornment that my already broad shoulders don’t really need. I also seem to be experimenting with wacky necklaces, and wow, my devotion to Diane Von Furstenberg wrap dresses really kicks into high gear this season. The same designer plays an important role in the reboot too, but in an unexpected way…wait and see!

What I love: I love the scene with Kelly in the private plane where she blames herself for Rory’s troubles. Vulnerable Emily is so compelling, especially because Kelly only lets her out once in a while.

The best part of this season: Episode 9, “The Prodigal Daughter Returns,” where Lorelai and Rory reunite! On the lawn outside Lorelai’s house, Lorelai tells Rory she looks so much more “silver” than she remembers. I just love little poetic touches like that. And that reunion hug was for real! We were both excited to get back to happier times.

Season finale: In Episode 22, “Partings,” Lorelai has a recurring dream of being smothered by a walrus, and gets a therapy session in her car over her hesitation about marrying Luke. (Side note: Will someone please write a thesis paper on all the bizarre dreams these characters have? I still need help deciphering them.) Logan says “I love you,” then leaves for London. Luke doesn’t like ultimatums, and Lorelai ends up in bed with Christopher. This has all the earmarks of a classic, juicy wacky season finale that tees up the next season wonderfully. But “partings,” indeed—I didn’t know it then, but this was Amy and Dan’s last episode…until eight years later.

SEASON SEVEN

Well, in many ways, this was a tough year and sort of a jumble for me, memory-wise. For example, apparently during this season Christopher and Lorelai get married in Paris. Okay. I have to admit, this seemed so odd to me back then (especially after all that time apart; I just didn’t think Lorelai would get married without Rory present), that I somehow managed to completely forget it ever happened. While we were filming the reboot, Dan Palladino had to call one of the superfan assistants in the office to have her explain the whole episode to me in detail. Even then, I wasn’t sure she was telling me the truth: “No. Really? Are you sure? No. Paris?” I kept saying to her.

Plus, our network, the WB, merged with another network, UPN, to form a new network, the CW. Like any company, changes at the top trickle down to its employees. The good news was that we survived the merger when many other shows did not. The bad news was that Amy and Dan faced a tough renegotiation and ultimately couldn’t agree to terms. Our new show runners were talented writers who knew the show well. But just like when David Lee Roth was replaced as the lead singer of Van Halen, no matter how hard we tried singing the same songs, they just didn’t sound quite the same. (Apparently, I stopped listening to music in the 1980s.)

Alexis and I were at the end of our contracts as well, and about halfway through this season we started renegotiating too. It was a confusing time. For starters, after almost seven straight years of extremely long hours, we were both just plain tired. Creatively, we weren’t sure where the show was heading, and we were starting to feel a bit uninspired. To both of us, Rory graduating from Yale actually seemed like a logical place to end the story. We both stood to get a raise if we stayed longer, but we loved the show far too much to keep going for that reason alone if the content wasn’t good enough. So conversations with our representatives went back and forth, and nothing had been decided by the last day of work. Our director, Lee Shallat Chemel, worried about how best to handle the episode, given that none of us knew if we were filming the last one or not. Ultimately, she decided to mimic the final crane shot from the pilot, where the camera pulls back over Lorelai and Rory talking at their table at Luke’s diner. I think she did a fantastic job this season in general, and with that episode specifically. She didn’t want to jump the gun, but she also wanted to give the fans some closure in case this was indeed farewell. That last day stretched into the night and ended up being more than twenty-one hours long. I said a bleary and brief goodbye to everyone as the sun was coming up, but it wasn’t the quality send-off any of us would have given if we’d known this was the end.

Over the next few weeks, various scenarios were discussed: returning for a full season or possibly a shorter farewell season of just thirteen episodes, trying to entice Amy and Dan to return, or letting the show go altogether. In the midst of these discussions, I was out to dinner with a friend, and right after we ordered, the waiter came back over to our table. “Your agent’s on the phone,” he told me. He led me over to the bar and handed me the receiver.

“The show’s over,” my agent said. And suddenly, before the appetizers had even arrived, that was that.

Just like I’d never been on a long-running show before, I’d never been at the end of one either, and I didn’t know what the protocol was. That day, I was told that I was the first to know, and was asked to wait before reaching out to anyone. I assumed this meant everyone would be getting a call, and given the size of the cast, they needed time to do that. But I found out much later that Alexis and I were the only cast members who were officially informed, and others found out in far less conventional ways. Ed Herrmann learned the show was cancelled from the clerk at his video store in Connecticut, for example. If I had it to do over again, I’d have called everyone myself, and thrown a party too. To end so abruptly was such an odd conclusion to our epic adventure. Over the next eight years I saw members of the cast socially, but it wasn’t until the reunion at the ATX Festival in Austin in March 2015 that we’d all (well, almost all) be together again.

In retrospect, the incomplete feeling that was so unsettling at the time the show ended turned out to be a blessing. Had the story lines been sewn up more neatly, it would have been harder to justify returning to them. Over the years, fans continued to ask about a movie, for good reason—in some ways, the characters had been left frozen in midair, with many questions unanswered. Of course, I too wished we’d had more closure on such an important chapter of my life. But I never could have imagined how incredibly satisfying it would be to come back to it all these years later. I never could have predicted the invention of streaming, the appetite for reboots, and how much your enthusiasm would contribute to bringing us back again. I’m thrilled it happened the way it did, but I never saw it coming. You might say I lacked vision, and you’d be right. Frankly, I’m still pretty excited about the whole disposable-camera thing.

Well, I made it through all seven seasons. I did almost take the polite FreshDirect man hostage, but he made it out alive. It was actually nice to revisit the show after all this time. As for the reboot? Well, by my calculations I should be able to watch it sometime in the year 2032. It was so big and wonderful and important to me. The pressure is just too much!

I mean, like I said, I really love you. But for me to watch myself in even more episodes? Perhaps, as Richard and Emily did, we’ll just have to renew our vows.